The Eternal Optimist

It all started, when he was twenty-one. Twelve years ago. On certain sleepy nights, an eerie feeling of disquiet would envelop him. And seconds later, he would hear a clear voice... Just a plain voice, as if the person was speaking inches from his ears. Words like, "this work is done", or "take this over there". Mundane, dull, and ordinary words...

As the years followed, the voices turned to visions. They would appear suddenly. He would have just closed his eyes, and the person would be standing in front of him, as clear as day. Just a person... No monster, no fiend, no ogre... Just a regular person. He could never make out who the person was, or even the sex of the person... Just a person. There was something very lonely about this. But even these aberrations were tolerable. Then one day, all hell broke loose for Julius. For the first time in his life, he saw the visions... and he heard the voices in the middle of the day... While he was wide awake!

These anomalies were attributed to a faulty gene, which adversely affected his cognitive function. It was a sporadic form of genetic fault, the kind that would not show up as a strong genetic link of the forefathers. But this also suggested that there was a high probably that the environment factors may play a big part in his defect. His condition was well under control, first with genetic therapies, treatments that actually rewrote fragments of genetic code in his cells, and second with the help of viral drugs.

This is the part that bothered Julius most. He was a perfectionist. The kind that knew what proportion of the color in his socks matched his pants, and what percentage complimented his tie. He knew that there was no perfection, but the unyielding and uncompromising pursuit of perfection drove him. And taking the drug for the rest of his life dampened his ultimate ache for perfection. Because the viral drugs seep through the human immune system, straight in the blood stream. Which made him imperfect.

He would never let anyone know about the drugs. Not even Eve.

"And besides", Eve continued, "You were the one who was so excited just an hour ago that you couldn’t stop talking about it".

"True", Julius mused.

"Make a deal with you OK?" Eve talked away, seemed like without stopping for a breath. "You stop thinking... And I will stop talking".

"Deal", Julius lied through his teeth. He new that the opportunity they had was priceless, billions of people would give up their lives to have their children grow up on a ‘first world’ planet. A planet, where the humans have a second chance to design the infrastructure. For a better humanity. But he could not stop wondering if his forefathers had essentially the same thoughts, when they set foot on the Americas. He could not stop thinking...

The Vigor ship was a disappointment. Julius had imagined a huge state-of-the-art arena, with an abundance of every conceivable high-tech gadget. At least that’s what it looked like in the pictures. The biggest irritation for Julius was when his expectations didn’t meet his reality.

The 30 days ‘wake time’ was horrible. The existence in the cramped corridors and the sleeping, coupled with the stinginess of windows, sent Julius in a claustrophobic rage. He wasn’t the only one. After the first few days or so of congeniality, the closeness with the rest of the passenger and crew was annoying at best. But it was either their faces, or the darkness outside. There were no bright shining stars, no breathtaking views of the planets, not even a stray comet making its gleaming trail. Being put to cryosleep was a blessing.