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 A Step Beyond (Book Excerpt)by C.K. Anderson Buy from Amazon.com Page 10 of 10 Titov was floating in midair, his eyes shut, his legs and arms extended. He had
just said goodbye to his wife, who, by now, was listening to the first part of
his transmission. He had tried to picture her in his mind, her firm, elegant
features, the concern in her eyes, her hands and how they would be cupped
properly in her lap. He had told her about his fears of what their failure
would do to the space program. This troubled him deeply. He did not want to be
responsible for the delay their failure would undoubtedly bring. The Russian
Space Agency should have waited for the Americans. Combining the efforts of
more than one nation could only result in a safer, more reliable mission.
Redundancies were not as cost-prohibitive. He had dwelled on these concerns far
longer than he had intended, and suddenly only a few minutes were remaining to
him. He'd quickly told her to find someone else. Now he imagined her shaking
her head, telling his delayed image that it was foolish to even suggest such a
thing, while his image continued to talk, ignoring her objections, telling her
how much it loved her.
He had been fine until he had talked to her. He was not concerned about himself; he had accepted his death. He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it. Nor was he overly concerned about her. She was a strong woman. She would marry again and probably sooner than either one of them would feel comfortable predicting. But she had a way of stirring his emotions in unpredictable ways. He felt that all he had worked for, his high hopes of a grand and historic contribution, would now end in an unavoidable setback to the program. He thought of his children and wondered how they would handle his death. His son possessed an understanding of death, and this troubled Titov greatly because he knew his son would suffer. But he also knew that in a few years his youngest child wouldn't even remember him. And that pained Titov even more. He opened his eyes. To his surprise, he saw tiny droplets of water floating before him. Titov had never seen tears in zero gravity before. They looked tranquil and pure. With a swift swipe of his hand the tears broke into a thousand smaller tears and scattered across the room. It would not do for his men to see him like this. Buy from Amazon.com Copyright© 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 C.K. Anderson, sffworld.com. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the author. |
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