The Executive

Lost in that moment,lost in time, he forgot his pain and kissed her passionatly. She whispered about the bad times, the times that she had cried. He loved her for her inocence and for her insecurites. She told herself that it would be alright, he knew that he could give her all that she wanted. He knew how simple, how little her finite demands placed on him. After they made love she sat there thinking, entering her own consciousness as a tourist, wondering if she were independent now, wondering if she had finally reached her own self esteem. He sat thinking about her, her eyes were so blue, her mind ws so pretty. He smiled to himself and looked out the window. The stars in the night sky twinkled back, entering his mind with a method not unlike rape. He shuddered and closed the blinds, it was all too lovely now, this was his sweet life with her. He saw their wedding and knew that one child with her would save him, would let it matter. Most men wouldn't have been so committed, most men would have cost themselves pain and her too. Most men were fools.

*

Robert looked at his father with pride. His father hugged him in a manly fashion. His father with broad shoulders and eyes of love, his father with pride and sadness wrapped together holding each other, eating each other in his mind. His father smiled, he missed his wife, Robert's mother. She had died of cancer a year before the wedding.

Robert offered some glance of conern, his father sighed and hugged him again. He told people that she was an angel, that she lived for love and peace and freedom. What he was really saying was that he loved her. Had she destroyed the world her husband would have called her an angel. His father hugged him again and told him that this was a happy day. This was his day.

Robert took her, his new wife's hand and looked into her soft blue eyes.

She had grown up so far away, in another part of the world, in another life. But he had always known her, and she, if truth be known had once known him. She hugged him and he hugged her. It was almost time, he felt the stars digging into him, always there beyond the daylight mask. He felt so puny, so insignificant, he felt that life could throw him away and spit him out.

*

"When I was very young" Katie told him " I looked out into the stars and I begged for some kind of meaning, some kind of something"

"I know" he whispered " you were lonely and had your eyes wide open"

"I sometimes wish I closed them to this world"

"You never closed them" he smiled, kissing her on the lips. "I love you" he whispered, her arm moved slightly in anxiety, her lips quivered, a tear built up in her eye. Could she tell? Did it trickle into her lovely finite mind? Did it paralyse her eyes?

"You are my sun, my moon, my stars and everything" he whispered, holding her close to him. She didn't want to let go.

"You are more than just the world, more than everything, finite things fell over and had a view at what they could become I would stil love you, if they world and its being came into existance and I had to love it, I would still love you. I love you."

Holding her there he could not control his tears, he needed this it was within his grasp.