2023

"Yeah, right. Derek can take care of himself. What happened? Seriously."

Xeana put her hand on Ryan’s arm gently. Her red hair was dulled in the weather, but her blue eyes were vibrant as ever, and they looked sorrowful.

"Ryan," she began quietly, "We are being serious. One of the Qa Tsani came. He was shot while he was on his way to math class. The Qa Tsanu was gone before anyone knew what had happened."

Ryan’s smile stuck on his face, though his heart began to sink.

"Xeana. Come on." His voice took on a pleading tone. "Brian? Please?"

Brian only shook his head, green eyes lowered, as the wind grabbed his longish blonde hair and whipped it into his face. He ignored it.

Ryan pushed through the group, finally reaching the front. Once there, he gaped at the scene before him. One medic was shaking his head sadly, while another was covering a body up with white cloth. He managed to see the remains of his brother’s face before it was enveloped with the sheet. He took in his breath sharply. Tears came to his eyes, and he viciously blinked them away. He turned from the sight and ran into Xeana. Her face was anxious, concerned.

"Ryan, I’m so sorry -" she began.

He pushed past her roughly, and was held up by Bob.

"Bob, move," he growled. Bob put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder and held it a tight grip.

"Dude, listen to me," Bob said, fiercely. "It’ll be all right. Look, do you want me to take you home?"

Ryan tried to shake his shoulder free, but Bob squeezed harder.

"Ryan. Ryan! You’re not rational. Look - "

"Bob, get out of the way!" Ryan shouted, losing control.

Brian came up to the three of them. "Ryan, try to calm down. You’re making a scene - "

"I am calm!" Ryan roared. "I just want you guys to leave me be! I’m fine, I’m going home, goodbye." He pulled his shoulder from Bob’s grasp and headed for his car.

His friends just stared at his retreating back. Xeana gave a shuddering sigh and Brian put his arm around her shoulders. Bob looked angry at himself, for being unable to help. Ryan noticed none of this as he climbed into his car and turned on the radio.

He backed out of the parking lot much more quickly than was allowed. As he sped onto the main road that led to his house, he turned the music up as loud as it would go. Barber’s Adagio, a fitting song for his morbid mood. He careened down the road, taking crazy chances. As soon as the Adagio had finished, he switched the radio to his favorite metal station. He screamed the words to a good song, doing anything to keep from breaking down and crying. He turned into his driveway, turned off the engine and sighed heavily, shakily. He squeezed his eyes shut and screamed, a guttural animal sound of pure anguish, slamming his hands against the steering wheel till his palms were bruised. He then laid his head in his hands, breathing hard.

Once he’d calmed down enough to be seen by his parents, he got out of the car and slammed the door with more force than was necessary. As he walked into the house, he noticed all the lights were off, all the blinds were shut. He heard his mother weeping in the living room. Upon entering, he saw his stepfather and his mother sitting on the couch, with his stepfather’s arm around his mother.

With something like hatred in his voice, Ryan asked simply, "Why?"

His stepfather glared back, not out of anger, but sadness.