The Bullfinch

Thalia’s mouth dropped open at the sheer size of the cyclops. Mercury forged forward, ray gun drawn. Merlin jumped ahead all smiles, "Good day, my friend."

The cyclops roared and stomped. The ground shook. He looked much like a dirty, unkempt human of giant proportions, except for having only the one, large, center eye.

"We’ve come to invite you to a bar-b-cue," Merlin explained.

The cyclops roared again. "I eat humans."

"Of course you do. We all do," Merlin said.

"You are humans." The cyclops roared again. "I will eat you." He made a mighty charge. Merlin darted out of the way. Thalia barely managed to duck behind a rock. Mercury zapped him with the ray gun.

"Ow," the cyclops yelled and stopped, stunned in his tracks. "What is that?"

"We’re not really humans," Merlin explained. "We’re in disguise."

"You have no idea how much easier it is to catch a human when you look like one," Thalia pointed out.

The cyclops roared and charged again. Mercury zapped him again. The cyclops shook his great shaggy head.

"Humans don’t have weapons like these," Mercury said.

"Now do be gracious and have some bar-b-cue with us," Thalia purred, "And hush up, there’s not enough to go around and we know you’re hungry, and, well, it’s not that we wouldn’t like your friends, it’s just that we want you to get full."

"I’m not hungry," the cyclops argued.

"How can you not be hungry, when I am absolutely famished?" Merlin asked.

"Me too," Thalia and Mercury chimed.

The cyclops got a peculiar look on his face, "I guess I am hungry."

"I’ll build us a fire," Merlin said. "Mercury why don’t you run back to our cache and bring back the bodies." Then to the cyclops, "We dashed their brains out less than an hour ago. They’re quite fresh really."

"Ummm," the cyclops purred, but then roared again when Mercury departed.

"Thalia, make our guest comfortable," Merlin said.

Mercury dashed to the space ship where Zaldivar did his best to replicate what was on the menu.

Brave as a lioness and cunning as an Asturian lover, Thalia comforted the cyclops. Pretty soon he was sitting down and she was massaging his wart and calloused riddled hand and softly chattering to him. Merlin goofed and toyed around and cursed, but he didn’t get the fire started.

"I guess you know my name’s Thalia," she said.

"I’m Merlin," Merlin said.

"I’m Polyphemus," the cyclops said.

"No," Merlin crooned.

"Not thee Polyphemus," Thalia ad libbed.

"You’ve heard of me?"

"Of course we have," Thalia said.

Merlin went back to his fire attempt. "No, you can’t be thee Polyphemus."

"Why can’t I be?"

"Because thee Polyphemus got his eye poked out by Ulysses."

The cyclops roared and jumped up. Thalia jumped back. Merlin dropped his twigs. Mercury returned with lunch.

"Did not," Polyphemus argued. "Ulysses lies. He tried to poke my eye out but I was too smart for him."

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up and quickly he bent back down to his task. "I am faint with hunger, but this fire will not start."

"Here let me," Mercury offered who could practically build a fire at the bottom of the sea and was proud of it.

Merlin kicked him.

"How did you trick him?" Merlin asked.

Thalia comforted Polyphemus who was again sitting leaning against a rock. "Yes, how did you trick him?"

"With a thunderbolt."

"Wow," Thalia crooned.

Mercury scowled.

"That’s what we need to start this fire," Merlin said.

"We don’t have any thunderbolts," Mercury retorted "I’ll start the fire."

Merlin kicked him again.