I vowed not to look because of fear of what I might see.
So why did I?
Nothing has ever been so confusing in my life.
So now I can't stop thinking about him.
Do I still long for him?
Or do I just want the loneliness to be filled?
Sometimes I just want to talk to him, to get everything settled.
Sometimes I think I want him,
But all the crap he put me through then pops in my head.
I think, does he care?
Probably not.
But the look in his face today
I thought I saw that something that I havent seen since December.
Do I still love him?
Or do I love what used to be?
I am sick of the confusion
Sick of the way I feel
And sick of not being able to let anyone else in my life
For fear of losing them too.