So these Two Bioluminescent Gastropods Walk into a Bar

In perfect unison their entire bodies filled with red light that increased with intensity until it became hard to look at without shielding my eyes. They rippled with streaks of silver, yellow and emerald. I had to applaud.

"Beautiful!" I said clapping enthusiastically. "You should've been here during the party you would've been quite the hit!"

Their intensity toned down and they exchanged patterns of colors with each other.

["Why isn't he excreting gallons of adrenaline?"]

["And running in fear?"]

["I can't figure out what his facial expression means. Does he look scared to you?"]

["Not really. He actually seems pleased with himself. Or with us!"]

["No more nice guy! Either you hand over all of the loot or you've mixed your last drink! You won't be the first shit head we've whacked!"]

I couldn't believe the speed and the subtly of the palate of colors one of the two displayed next. It was as if a rainbow had been spliced, diced, placed in a blender and mixed with Ogorian vodka, three cherries and a wedge of lime. I figured they were trying to tell me something but in the condition I was in I was only interested in the light show. I clapped again.

[" You're losing your touch Muglus."]

["Watch your mouth Thuglus!"]

["Don't jump on my back! This moron's life has been threatened and he applauds us!"]

["Maybe he's suicidal?"]

["Or insane?"]

I really didn't mind their company and went about cleaning up. They just sat at bar side and softly blinked and shimmied their internal lights.

["Are you insane or suicidal? Don't you know who we are?"]

["We're Muglus and Thuglus! We've robbed and killed our way across this sector! We're wanted on over forty systems!"]

I was desperately trying to figure out what a bio-luminescent gastropod would enjoy in way of beverages. I was rummaging my metal bartenders manual when a thought struck me. I grabbed a large green bottle of a rare liquor that was ingested through the skin.

"Endreever. How's about a couple of shots? Potent stuff!"

I couldn't really tell if I got their interest but they backed off a hair. They flashed and flickered

["You dare pull a weapon on us?"]

["I say we kill him. Now!"]

["Yeah! Let's blast him!"]

What happened next filled me with great pity for the two gentle strangers. I was a bit embarrassed actually. As duel streams of acrid liquid shot from the two tubular appendages that they thrust from the folds of blubber-like flesh it dawned on me they must have come in to use the facilities. My shirt got quite wet but I pretended it was nothing.

"Oops! Sorry guys. Didn't realize how bad you fellas had to go. The toilets are in the back. And don't worry about my shirt! It's way overdo for a washing. "

They remained fixed in their spots. Their bodies grew bright red again rimmed with bright plum.

['Why is he still alive?"]

["Can you believe this bastard! He should be rolling on the floor in agony!"]

['Could that be some kind'a protective armour he's wearing!']

["But it's so light and supple. A masterful design!"]

["You think he could be a Vegorian Fighter?"]

["Maybe. We better be careful."]

I guess the quick little pee was all they needed because they never did take me up on my offer to use the bathroom. They shimmied with a tutti-frutti paisley pattern.

["I think I'll break him in half!"]

["Yeah! That's it! Crush his bloody skull like a pimple!"]

Their final gesture seemed rather sweet at the time and I assumed it was an attempt on their part to apologize for urinating on my shirt. Pairs of arms sprung from each of the resplendent creatures. Two wrapped around my head and the others around my chest.