When Harry Met Satan

But I’ve reformed; money isn’t the driving force in my life anymore." Since when was money ever important to him? Harry thought, not recalling any passage in the good book that mentioned that.

"And what is?" Harry was afraid to ask.

Lucifer grinned his yellow, fang-filled grin again. "Glad you asked buddy-boy. My personal mission now is to show people the truth."

"That there is no god?"

"Well, yeah, that’s some of my philosophy, but it’s much more than that."

"Yeah, that’s great, can I go now?"

"Could I just take up a little more of your time?" Harry shook his head to make sure he was awake.

The Prince of Darkness, Satan himself, was asking politely for him to stay. Everything he thought he knew about the anti-Christ had been redefined. He was courteous and chummy, not really the embodiment of evil, as far as Harry could tell. Maybe the good book got the facts wrong. It wasn’t the first time; everyone knew the world was not created in six days, well most people did. This little guy didn’t seem to be the accursed trickster from the Scriptures. He was just a fun-loving genuine everyman by look of it. Minus the red suit, horns, pointy tail and freaky fiery shit, he seemed normal.

"Sure, I suppose I could listen to a bit more, but I gotta get home to the wife and kids," said Harry.

"Okay then. Well, how can I wrap this up quickly for you? Ah…there we go." Lucifer spotted a guy walking toward them, wearing a nice double-breasted jacket and fairly well-groomed. Harry thought he must have been heading to that fancy ball at that seaside hotel that he and Lucifer had walked passed a few minutes ago.

"Observe," said Lucifer, as he scampered over to the rich guy.

"What do you want you little freak?" The rich guy said, grimacing at Lucifer’s ludicrous get-up.

"Just to kill you."

Lucifer jumped and kicked the rich guy in the stomach, with a force that belied his small stature. The well-dressed guy was knocked to the ground. The guy recovered to his knees, holding his abdomen and struggling for air. Lucifer faced the man right in the face and wrapped his little clawed hands around his neck.

"Now you die." Lucifer cackled as he squeezed. Harry rushed over to the scene and pried Lucifer’s claws from the man’s neck. He tossed the little imp aside and told the guy to run away fast. Still gasping for air, the rich guy fled off into the night. Harry turned to see Lucifer recovering behind him.

"Why’d you do that for?"

"Why did you?" Lucifer grinned back at him as he got back to his stumpy little feet.

"What? What are talking about?" Harry tensed up. He’d had about enough of this little shit.

"You intervened. You saved that guy by pulling me off him."

"Yeah…so?"

"You saved that man, not Him." Lucifer pointed up into the sky. "If He existed, why didn’t he save one of his children? You see, it’s all about you. It’s about your own personal power. That’s why god doesn’t exist, you do all the work for him."

"I still don’t understand what the Hell you’re talking about, and why you’re bothering me."

Lucifer pulled some kind of ticket out of thin air and handed it to Harry. Typed on it was:

Lucifer’s Life Lessons Seminar, Admit One. Fully Catered.

"Come to my seminar tomorrow, it’s being held at the Ambassador Hotel Function Room. All will be explained." Lucifer smiled again, those little yellow fangs repulsive, but somehow warm and inviting simultaneously.

"Alright…I have half a day off work tomorrow," said Harry, who had no intention whatsoever of attending.