Raising The Devil

They were pissed.  Sloshed out of their tiny little minds.  Dave, Tim, Brendon, and Ric - which was short for Erica, but in these halcyon student days, Ric sounded much better.

"Ric O'Shea!" suggested Brendon.  "Marry an Irishman with the last name of O'Shea," he laughed, before sliding quietly into unconsciousness.

That was earlier.  Now it was later.  The flow of drinks had slowed, but still they were drunk.  It was 2am - that magical time of morning when the conversation becomes philosophical, morbid, and frequently turns to impossible, or, at least, highly improbable events.

"The Devil," philosophised Dave, "is a complete idiot."

Tim considered this for a moment.  "Yeah, I think I see what you mean."

"What are you talking about?" asked Erica, carefully drawing the last curves of the permanent marker design on Brendon's snoring face.  "How can the Devil be an idiot?"

It might be pointed out that none of them believed in God, the Devil, or the heavens.

"Because," explained Dave, "every time he tries to do something in a movie, he always picks some poor bugger to possess who can be easily overpowered.  Like in the Exorcist."

"Technically," murmured Tim, "that was Legion."

"The point," Dave said, raising an uncertain finger, "the point."  He took a deep breath.  "The point is that the Devil always picks some dumbass human.  Then, because he's bound in part to that human, you can either reason, make a deal, or just kill the guy.  I mean why," he continued, going with the flow, "is he always bound to someone?  Why, if he has to possess someone to do what he does, can't he possess anyone he chooses.  He is a big bad angel, after all."

"Good thought," said Erica.  "Plus this whole soul thing.  He's always after souls.  Why?  I mean, if he can destroy the earth, wouldn't that be more of a problem to God than anything.  Why not just wipe out the human race?"

"Maybe he's tried," said Tim.  "But, like, he's using AIDS and SARS and shit to do it.  You know, occasionally pulling an asteroid onto the planet."

"Ha!" cried Erica.  "Then why aren't we all dead!"  She sat back, argument won.

"Because," said Tim, philosophising quickly, "God's will is stronger.  He created the Devil, and therefore is more powerful.  AIDS and SARS don't work because God is restricting them.  Every time an Asteroid heads towards us, it turns into a near miss.  God deflects it."

"What about possession then?"

"Simple," said Dave.  "God has denied the Devil access to the Earth.  He has to remain in hell.  The only way he can remain long enough is to hide himself in someone else's soul.  Because of this, he is severely weakened when he comes here."

"So he's confined then," said Erica sagely.  "Cool."

Tim was chewing his lip.  "I wonder," he said.

"You have a profoundity?" asked Dave.

"Yeah.  Look, God's will is strong right?" asked Tim.

"The strongest, apparently."

"Yeah, yeah, but I wonder," Tim continued.  "I mean, God gave man free will, right?"

"Yeeeessss," Erica said uncertainly, wondering where Tim was going with this.

"Okay, so therefore we should be able to make up our own minds about the Devil."

"Oooohhhh," said Dave, impressed.  "Isn't this thinking above your normal level?  You're not possessed are you?"

Tim grinned.  "Savour it, my ginger-headed friend.  T'only happens once a year."  He burped.  "Pardon."

"So, if I've got this straight," Erica began tentatively, "you're saying that we, humans, can allow the Devil to walk the earth?"

"Damn straight."

"How?  I mean, if God's will is holding him in Hell..."

"Ah!  But there's the crux of the matter.  We have free will.  That means God can't interfere with what we want to happen.  If we say, 'This will happen.' then there's nothing God can do about it.  It's our will, and he's not allowed to interfere, by his own rule."