Lucid Writing Advice V

The voice in this passage has a light-hearted tang to it, with all the description going on. It almost seems to flow with Susana as she dances across the marble hall. This type of writing is free, and usually doesn’t slow down unless it needs to. But of course these are just examples of different types of voices, and you may find them not all that great, so do what authors are known for: make your own.

Before I begin this, let me say that I’m not really a fan of the first-person but sometime, sometimes, I find it enjoying. Now, back to the article...the first person is a device that a select group of writers may feel is best for there story. And in thinking this those writers will write that story, and they suddenly discover that ‘ I’ is just appearing too many times and the character’s name appears maybe once or twice. Every corner we turn ‘I’ is there to greet us with it ghoulish smile.

When we pull on a door ‘ I’ is there to say how the sweat on our palms made it hard to turn. ‘I’ is always curious and yet it takes a long time for I’ to really do anything. When we run I’ tells us how are heart was beating until I’ said we had to give up and let the thing that was chasing I’ get I’

OKAY, enough of that. If you favor the first-person, then you should at least know this much...don’t use that god-forsaken I’ too much. It will tire your reader, and in will certainly tire you. Don’t overuse it.

In first-person, however, you have a unique ability of describing things first hand, than you would have if you were describing it through another character. It’s more of a down-to-earth kind of voice, and it plants the reader’s shoes right there where all the action is happening. But the first person can be a gnat that many readers will want to swat as soon as it starts to bug them.

If you plan on writing a series using the first-person then you have a lot of tidying up to do in not overusing the dreaded I’ Here is a passage below written with poor I’ .

I lurched myself into the bottom of the ship. Fumbling over the captain’s body, I ran where I thought was the direction of the stern. I yelped when I realized I had gone the wrong way. Stopping, panting, I retraced my steps back until I found the body laying there. A thought came over me, and I turn the body over.

Total I’ count-11. And three in the third sentence.

Let’s see if we can’t write it better:

I lurched myself into the bottom of the ship. Fumbling over the captain’s body, I headed where my mind told me must be the stern. With a yelp I knew I was going the wrong way and had to turn back around. With ease I came back to the same spot where I was before, yes it was the same spot because the captain’s body was still there. A thought struck as one of my hands reached out and turned the body over. My lifeless eyes appraised me in the darkness.

Total I’ count: 6 I have even increased the word count from 89 to 116 without destroying the reader’s imagination with too much I’ If you see another way that this passage can be written with less of them, try it and see can you get it down to using just five, yet keeping the structure of the scene.