Lucid Writing Advice VI

Most of us have read that short story every once in a while when all the action comes at the end of few words of introduction, which have a knack for appearing quite often. This article will hopefully keep you from doing that.

When a writer sits down to write their first work, it is always not quite their best. Yet he or she may see it as quite an accomplishment. Such things are excusable in the beginning, but as the writer starts to write more they will correct their mistakes, all because perfect practice makes perfect.

Below is a passage that a beginning writer may write.

Joe went into the house and sat down. He turned on the t.v. and flipped to his favorite show. It wasn’t on, so he went to his room. Pressing the button, he found that his radio had stopped working. In a second he was in the kitchen. All of a sudden he found that he wasn’t hungry.

This passage has not an ounce of description, and note how those four words ‘ all of a sudden’ come onto the scene to tell us that he wasn’t hungry. Was that really necessary? Those four words can get a beginning writer in trouble, but at the start they are excused for it. Read how ‘all of a sudden’ works in the passage below:

Richard couldn’t understand why the fat bird didn’t just fly away to another branch, it was really bugging him. Trying not to be seen he ducked below a rock and took out his sandwich. Just the sight of lettuce and tomato sent a quiver through his stomach. Licking his lips he hefted the ham sandwich.

Why even use those words at all? They do nothing but rush things, and is a poor excuse for a writer to not use his imaginative mind. Wouldn’t you agree that perhaps ‘ in a blurring blue streak’, or ‘ in a rush of wind’ would be better suited instead of ‘ all of a sudden’? Below are words you should try to avoid when you can:

sudden
suddenly
unexpectedly
without warning
instantly
all at once
at once
quickly

I suggest that you never use these words to start off a moment of action, after a while they become clinched, which I will talk about later.

Many beginning writers fall into the trap of sequence words all the time. When they want to tell how the sorcerer cast the spell, or how the crafters made the ship, they want to lead the reader every step of the way. In all truth you shouldn’t lead your reader every step of the way, only enough to get them to picture what it is you want them to see.

Below is how a more inexperienced writer would describe a sorcerer casting a spell:

Valmir stood in the clearing, watching the advancing army galloping across the plain. In a swift motion he raised his hands. First, a ball of howling flame arose from his palms with only a trace of thought. Second, he spun his arms until the flame engulfed them. Third, he twirled as if in a dance. Then, all of a sudden the ball left him and raced across the plain.