It's A Deadly Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It (19 ratings) by Bret M. Funk
Page 7 of 19 I approached the ship cautiously. At first glance she looked like a
run-of-the-mill, top-of-the-line, Braning Mk VII Advance
Defense Gunship, Elf Range, or Badger (4).
Fast and furious, few things in this universe, aside from a planet, could stand
an assault from a squadron of elite Badgers. Even a well-armored capital ship
usually called for reinforcements rather than risk serious damage.
Of course, the Stellar Fleet only had a squadron or two of Badgers, and even
fewer well-trained pilots to fly them. Most of the pilots fly Dogs
(Dwarf-range Onslaught Gunships) or Cats (Capital
ship Assault Transports). Of course, there were also the
Giant-range, Interplanetary Response
Landers, the most desired position in the Stellar Fleet, but only
the most famous flyers, or the most politically connected, got to fly Girls.
I walked the perimeter of the ship, surveying it closely. It looked like a
Badger, but had undergone several obvious modifications, and likely a few dozen
I couldn't see.
I hopped onto the boarding ladder and peered through the plexisteel
viewport. The cockpit was slightly larger than a normal Badger, with a little
more storage room. The controls looked normal for the most part, though the
weapons systems and flight controls were slightly different than I
remembered.
The front of the Badger narrowed to a hollow point that housed a heavy blast
cannon, capable of hurling a variety of projectiles at incredible speeds. Four
turbolasers surrounded the cannon.
The fusion reactor in the rear was too large, nearly twice as big as it
should be. I stared at the engine for a long time, my face scrunched in
confusion, before I moved on to the wings.
The wings of the Badger are half-moons with a pair of fixed turbolasers
topside and one rotating turret on the bottom. This particular Badger also
sported several missile launchers, which flanked the turret.
I let out a whistle as I traced a finger down the edge of the wing and
sucked it back in when the metal sliced through my skin.
"Impressive, isn't she?" Commander Fear asked, smiling knowingly. "She's the
most heavily armed ship of her size. The turrets can target independent of each
other, and can be controlled by the AI. In fact, the AI can control most of the
ship. Only a handful of systems require manual activation."
Commander Fear walked over to join me. He handed me a white rag to staunch
the flow of blood. "The wings are made from the strongest trix derivatives," he
added, "sharpened by lasers to a razor's edge. You could slice through most
ships with those wings, if you have guts enough to use her as a ram."
"The engines are kind of large," I said, trying not to sound too impressed.
"Most Badgers have a Mk IV fusion drive standard."
"Most Badgers don't come NOVA-equipped."
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(4) Ranges - Following the Trebalic Struggle* the FEDs found itself in
an uncommon period of peace. The FEDs, and the Stellar Fleet in particular,
went through a renaissance, wherein it was decided that all military
classifications should be replaced with more aesthetic nomenclature.
One particularly zealous admiral decided that the range designations of
short, medium, and long were unsatisfactory. This admiral was an avid reader of
fantasy literature, and decided that dwarf, elf, and giant were more easy for
the layman to understand. Also, he said it was easier to form acronyms with
them.**
* Note - The Trebalic Struggle began after a newly-established FEDs
accidentally colonized and terraformed a planet that, until then, had been the
outlying colony of a highly advanced, and as it turned out, extremely
irritable, race of militant crystalline lifeforms.
** Additional Note - This is not the only example of extreme stupidity
during the Neo-renaissance. It is highly suspected that the Chacharyn War was
fought, not to protect humanity from domination by the sentient flora of
Chacharyn III, but rather to end the Neo-renaissance and give the Stellar Fleet
something to do other than rename things.
We at the archives honor the noble sacrifice of the Chacharyn, who it seems
are not only peace-loving, but also immobile, and apologize again for their
near extinction. We request that you, the Reader, send a donation to the
'Regrow the Chacharyn' fund. Next Page Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2001 Bret M. Funk, sffworld.com. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the author. The author has submitted the work in accordance with and in agreement with the following Submission Guidelines.
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