Robert Anson Timeline
by Larry Nomenclature
Page 1 of 1Robert Anson Timeline was born at the beginning of the century in Missouri.
He moved his family to Kansas City at the young age of five. Then he
enlisted in the Naval Acadamy and became the Captain of the USS Lexinton at
the age of ten, where he immediately contracted TB. He was cured and given a
discharge with a small pension. While discharged, he entered the Navy again,
this time as a reserve officer. For that, the Navy promptly made him an
Admiral. He married several times after that, but spent most of his time in
a hammock under a shade tree, typing volumes of paper on his old Remington.
Those volumes of paper, cut from several large forests, became his first
novels. Hords of his early readers, hungry for good Science Fiction, or
maybe a sex scene, did nothing with their lives but read all these hundreds
of thousands of pages, and these were just his first short stories.
Early in his carrer, he wrote under many pen names, including Asimov, and
Hemmingway. Later, he wrote under his own name, and his next 4000 novels all
link together in some very obscure fashion, in a futuristic timeline, called
"Future History." Future History was also a very popular story plot in his
"Empire" novels, under his Asimov pen name.
One of his most famous early novels, written under his own name, was "Rocket
Ship Galileo," where the hero got to fight Nazis on the Moon. Another was
"Starship Troopers," which was about some Marines who found a cache of
Once he got over writing about such juvenile stuff, his books became much
more popular. One of these was "Stranger in a Strange Land," which was about
a kid from Kansas who went to live in New Jersey. His later work was much
more popular, especially with young boys, because his leading ladies spent
all their time bed hopping. A typical woman in his these later novels has
multiple PhDs, and is built like Jane Mansfield, wears almost nothing at
all, and loves to talk about, and practice, sex. Come to think of it, that's
the whole plot for all of his later books.
There is more to his novels than sex, however. A lot of his work is about a
man named Lazarus, who spends his time preaching to everybody, between
bedding all those lady Doctors, that is. He spouts his famousProverbs, which
his legions of followers are required to memorize, and apply to every
obscure situation in life. (Too bad he died so young.) Most of his leading
men in all his books are Libertines, or Libertarians. I forget which, . . .
or maybe they are the same thing.
By now he has about half the planet reading his work. The better known books
are "Time Enough for Love" (RAT never had time), and "To Sail Beyond the
Sunset" (RAT never got to the boat). In all Robert A. Timeline wrote some
great fiction. The only problem is, almost nobody ever got to read it all,
since his work completely fills twenty libraries. In all, Robert Anson
Timeline is quite a writer. My own adolescence would have been much duller
without his great novels, which I faithfully kept on a small bookshelf in
our bathroom. Now, if I could only just finish one of them!
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