That is the question

I reckon around one hundred people must have passed my house in the last minute and not one of them would care, or even be aware if my finger slipped. Every single one with their own separate little life and their own little problems, blissfully unaware of the existence of the person in front or behind them. Even that tiny rabbit sitting at the road edge munching away on the grass. Every one of them believing they are at the centre of the universe but none of them knowing what’s coming round the next bend. It could be good luck, but then it could be the front end of bus. Now that is not a very positive thought.

Something that is positive is one of my all time favourite pass times, and that's drinking. This controversial statement usually has people lining up to chastise me on the misuse of alcohol, but I really don’t care. I regard my use of alcohol as necessary as it is enjoyable. Without alcohol to pull me through, I think I would’ve done away with myself years ago. When you’re feeling down, a little bit lonely perhaps, or just want to forget about your day, just pop open some wine and sip repeatedly for about two hours. All problems have been solved, all wrongs righted.

I wonder how many of these people on the road have been drinking tonight. Probably more than should be and the innocents that pass on the other side of the road will never know the potential risk they were under just at that spilt second their car and the drunk driver’s passed each other.

I wonder if that little rabbit would be more upset if he were run over by a drunk driver? Isn’t it funny, no matter how much of a hold you think you have on your life, it’s always the actions of others which ultimately control how things pan out.

I mentioned money earlier, and it’s another huge problem. Actually owing people an inconceivable amount of money is my real problem. My bank balance is literally the most negative thing I’ve spoken about so far. How I got it quite so wrong I’m not sure but let me tell you, there’s no such thing as a sure thing. I really wish someone had told me that a year ago. Oh, and another thing, always deal with legitimate businessmen. That’s just another little piece of advice I wish I’d learned sooner. Almost without exception, a legitimate businessman will not try to break your legs.

But when you’ve got some money, and by some I mean plenty, it’s the best feeling in the world. The cars are faster and the women are prettier. Actually the cars are prettier and the women are faster. Anyhow, both apply and you live your life riding the crest of a wave. Unfortunately, I slipped, fell in and nearly drowned.

And that’s about it I'm afraid. Wine, women and wealth. Yes folks, I really am that shallow, but that’s about all there is worth sticking around for, and I’ll bet there’s more people like me than would care to admit it. You see when you’ve had all three in large quantities, being forced to go cold turkey isn’t the nicest experience in world and without going into greater detail, these are the least of my worries.

So to pull the trigger or face reality. I’m no poet but that is the question. As I said earlier I'm really not sure if I want to go through with this, but the reality option is a difficult and dangerous one with many downsides.