Montgomery J. Frog

Down in a pond, just an ordinary pond, in an ordinary county, there lived a not-so-ordinary frog. For this frog was special. This particular frog had dreams. Dreams of grandeur. Dreams so big not even the largest bullfrog would seem to befit the task. But Montgomery (this is that special frog's name) could do it, if only he put his mind to it. Or so he thought....

              ;   One of Montgomery's early dreams was to be an astronaut. Of course, whenever his mother was informed of his chosen path (about every 6 minutes), she responded with the usual motherly response; 'That's nice dear, but astronauts have to have rooms that are spotless. Now go clean up your room! It looks like a fly lives there!' (Montgomery's room was in a constant state of disrepair)

              ;   As he grew up, Montgomery became discontent with his humble hovel. He wanted something more. He wanted to be on the front page of every newspaper, the top story on every news channel. 'Montgomery: Simply Something Strange' they would read.

              ;   Unfortunately for our amphibious hero, he had never encountered a career project, so he had no idea as to how he was to go about and accomplish all of his goals. Montgomery was stuck in a rut.

              ;   He wallowed around for a few years, doing odd jobs while trying to become famous. Ideas were not the area in which he was lacking; it was the skills needed to realize those ideas that was the problem. Montgomery tried just about everything; no one could say that he was dispassionate.

              ;   His mother and father (as seemingly all parents do, regardless of species) tried to dissuade him, telling him that frogs just don't seem to garner as much attention as other animals, such as guinea pigs and hamsters, do. But Montgomery was not deterred by any dissent; if anything, it made him only more determined to doggedly stick it out until the end.

              ;   About the time Montgomery was 1 and a half years old, he was suddenly struck... by lightning. But while he was recuperating, he came up with a brilliant idea. An idea, that, with any luck, would someday put him on the map. His idea? To become the first airborne frog.

              ;   He had come about this idea one day while out for a leisurely leap. He had looked up and noticed some birds flying overhead. How he wished he could be among them, soaring through the air! But alas, even one so naive as he noticed the discrepancy between the birds' anatomy and his own (i.e. lack of feathers, wings, tail, etc....).

              ;   Once again, Montgomery was seemingly foiled by his own inability to realize his dreams. But this time, Montgomery kept at it, for what could make him more famous than being the first flying frog? All of a sudden, the means for accomplishing his goals materialized; almost as if out of thin air.

              ;   Montgomery had been sitting in his house, trying to figure out how he could fly, when something red, large, and rubbery landed on his domicile. Having no idea what it was, he wandered outside to have a look and see what on earth was covering his home.

              ;   When he was outside, he looked closely at the thing. He could just make out the letters 'C O N D O M....... ' He stepped back to have a closer look, and realized it was a balloon, advertising for the new real estate agency 'Harborveiw Condominiums.' He had pulled it off and was about to toss it to the wind when he suddenly figured everything out. If the balloon could float, why couldn't he?

              ;   He was so excited that he didn't waste a second. He ran down to the pond, and sat upon his favorite rock. Once settled, he proceeded to put his plan into action. He puffed his cheeks out as far as he could, and waited.

              ;   Little by little, inch by inch, he could slowly feel his feet leaving the ground below him. Looking up, he saw that the birds were still a good 20 feet above him. Wanting to catch up, he quickly inhaled more air, so his cheeks grew even larger, and up he flew.

              ;   When he was about 3 inches below the birds, Montgomery felt as though he could take no more air in. But the thought of soaring like the birds excited him so much that he thought he was going to burst! Straining his cheeks even further, he inhaled a tiny bit more air, and moved level with the white birds.

              ;   About this time, little Rabbit strolled by (along the ground of course). Peering up, he could see the birds, and what appeared to be a green balloon floating near them. With a shock, he realized that it was Montgomery! Rabbit quickly called to him, 'Montgomery! You do realize that what you're doing is physically impossible, correct?' But Montgomery could not be distracted. The birds had gone up higher than him, most likely disgusted by the big ugly frog floating next to them. Montgomery was not aware of their reasoning, but tried once again to catch up.

              ;   This time, though, proved to be more than he could take. With a loud POP! he disintegrated and