Lurching, lurking, slithering, withering. Something’s outside my house
I hope it’s not what I think it is. If I’m lucky it’s only a mouse.
I’ve heard about those other things, and how once they get inside
Your life is never the same again. There’s really no place to hide.

Lurching, lurking, slithering, withering. Something’s on my front porch
Maybe my neighbor will see it out there. He’ll chase it off with a torch.
But my neighbor, I think, knows the truth. He’ll just stay safe inside
No need to appear face to face, and risk get eaten alive.

Lurching, lurking, slithering, withering. Something’s right down the hall
It must have already taken my parents. I can’t hear anything at all.
And if it’s true, that once they’re here, they never take leave of the place
I’ll bet that before very long, I meet with it face to face.

Lurching, lurking, slithering, withering. It’s standing outside my door
I’ve done everything there is to do and I can’t think of anything more.
It’s over, I know, it’s coming for me. If only I had a big stick
I’d stand up like a man and face the beast. At least it’d be over pretty quick.

Lurching, lurking, slithering, withering. Time to face my fears
I’ll confront this beast, outside my door, for men throughout the years
YE GADS, it’s here, I’ve opened the door. I guess I won’t have to hurl
But you’ll have to admit I’m pretty brave kid, for hanging around with a girl.