The Test of Time

Seven hours of study and poor Kennedy, try as he might, is still confused. Which event marks the end of the second modern era? The Cold War, or the Cryogenic Conflict? The Twentieth Century, or the Intertemporal Zone? Khrushchev or Disney? What, where, or when? Who? Seven hours and still no clue. Seven hours and he has learned but one small truth: the student lounge at the University of Mars is no place to study.

"Hey, Kennedy! That your microtext? I didn't think you could read."

Kennedy sighs, doesn't look up. "Get eclipsed, Ting. Since when do you think?"

"Oh, Coach lets me think a little between games." Ting 9 Kotsky drops his bag on the table; Kennedy jumps. "Watch my jock, I'm going to grab some food."

Kennedy's head sinks into his arms. "I'm dead. I'll never pass this test. I'll never play ball again." Just one hour left. One tiny subjective hour, and Kennedy 15 Rogers faces the Imperial Examiner's Earth History Final. His entire future, his classification, rides on this one brutal confrontation. The Examiner is unforgiving, and holds Kennedy's future in his crystal hands.

"Hey, Kennedy, taking a nap?

"No, but I might as well be. Say, April, you're a History major, aren't you? What do you know about the Cold War?"

"Not much, I'm afraid. I'm specialized. I'm a Post Reformationist. Wasn't the Cold War that mutant viral epidemic, the one that wiped out South America?"

"No, that was the Black Flu." Kennedy looks up. "Wasn't it?"

"Maybe so." Danielle 7 April twirls her transplant mustache. "I really don't know fusion about history before the Time Tampering Code. Ask me about asteroid farming, or the Jupiter Battalion."

"What am I going to do? If I fail this exam, April, Coach will suspend me, sure as E=MC2! If I'm off the gravityball team, I won't get to play against Venus Tech. No championship! No All-star game, no pro contract! I'm doomed."

"Now, now. He wouldn't suspend you, would he? You're the hottest friction center in the System. Venus will kill us, without you."

Ting returns with a tray of synthetic sashimi. "Venus might kill us with or without you. Didn't you hear? They've got Ali 21 Wayne back on at striker."

Kennedy jerks up straight. "They can't do that! Ali's ineligible!"

"Like fission he is. They trans-temporalized him back to

his Junior year."

Danielle adjusts her cape to expose more breast. "That sucks methane. Listen, Ting, we've got to see to it that Kennedy here passes his final, or the good old U of Mars won't stand a comet's chance on Mercury. What do you know about the Cold War?"

"Something to do with glaciers, right?"

"Great Sagan," Kennedy cries, "I thought that was the Ice Age!" His eyes pop wild, and genuine panic sets in behind them. "Look. You two aren't helping at all. I've got barely a half hour to get this straight, or I'm history! If I don't play gravityball, who knows what classification I'll get. Probably end up digging the new ocean. Neither of you have to worry about stuff like that; you're both single digit. But for me, gravityball's my only chance to get a decent classification. I'm not half smart enough to be a bureaucrat. No double digit is. I'm doomed!"

Ting inspects Danielle's hand, massages her fingers. "Hey, I really boost your new talons. They're orbit."

"For sure? You like the colors?"

Kennedy screams. "I'm arse-deep in entropy over here, and you two are making time! Don't you care? Doesn't anybody know anything about the Cold War?"

"Cool your thrusters, big guy. I just got an idea... Remember Dingle 5 Thomas? Rumor has it that he's vending smartcaps. That's him over there. With the blue halo."

"Smartcaps? Are you crazy? They're illegal as fission. I'd end up spending the rest of my time in the Oort cloud!"