The Test of Time

Tampered Earth History: Emended To Include All Adjustments, Including The Great Reformation." He grimaces, bites his lip, and exits the program.

"Is this going to work, Dingle?" Danielle absently picks at the glowing pasty on her left nipple. "I mean, if anything, he looks even dumber."

"7 April, you nebulous nymph, I am almost ninety percent reasonably convinced that I gave him the right caps. I have done my best for the glory of Mars; the rest is up to Kennedy."

She giggles. "Do you really think I'm nebulous?"

"Positively metaphysic. What say we grab a jug of ethanol and flit on down to the new ocean? I heard they're going to open another oxygen factory today. Should be kind of euphoric." Dingle turns, scowling. "And Ting, I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Right?"

Meanwhile, Kennedy 15 Rogers faces the fearsome crystal countenance of the Imperial Examiner with a surprising confidence. He seems to know the answers before the questions are even asked. He knows the Progression of Planetary Presidents. He knows all the details of the Inca Conquest of Europe. He knows the capitals of all fifty-two of the United States of New Nordica. He knows the History of Temporal Transmutation. He knows the dates of the Insect Invasion and George Washington's coronation. He knows that Greenland won the Cold War in 1942. He knows who killed Cock Robin. He knows everything.

The Imperial Examiner's eyes light up. In a micro-nanosecond, he recognizes that a mistake has been made. Whoever classified this genius as a double digit athlete will certainly be sent to work on the new ocean. A molecular circuit hums and silicon synapses spin. The error stands corrected.

Kennedy 15 Rogers, former Friction Ace, has been reclassified to Kennedy 3 Rogers, Dean of Improved History. And the records plainly show: as soon as the Smartcaps wear off, he is perfect for the job.