Phantasm 1: For the Light of the Stars (two)

And she learnt to trust Josh and Shamir, learnt how to anticipate them and understand them, but not through raiding their minds. That experience she hadn’t repeated. She’d grown to respect them, had watched them and spoken with them, had learnt enough about them to understand them. Shamir in particular. The bond between them had strengthened considerably, partly due to their practise together and the similarities they shared. Never once had a difference between their colour resulted in tension; they were open to each other and shared a mutual admiration that went beyond their dissimilarities. Laura appreciated the time they spent together, appreciated the friendship they shared. It was one of the few things that kept her sane, having a friend to talk to and confide in, but most of all having someone who understood her. She’d never really had that, not even on Capital, and it was something she valued.

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The darkened, enclosed space became more claustrophobic each time Laura visited Willow. There was nothing about it that bothered her more than something else. There was no sign of life save for Willow herself and that was what mostly produced her unease. It was as if Willow and everything accompanying her was illusory, magical images that imitated life but just fell short because they lacked the spark that existed inside all manner of beings.

But doubt still nagged at Laura. Willow didn’t seem real at times but Laura could see her, feel her, touch her (physically if not mentally). Her very existence defied what many seemed to accept. She lived... yet she did not. It was a mystery that bothered Laura more than she cared to admit.

Again Laura reached out in search of Willow, tracing the wavering liquid fabric web that connected minds. She’d done this many times, frantically rummaging for a trace of this magnificent creature but finding none.

Now was no different.

Then again, she hadn’t really expected it to be. She held out hope that maybe, just maybe she’d overlooked something or wasn’t yet strong enough (though that seemed increasingly unlikely), but this was just hope and deep down was the certainty that she’d never find anything. It was her loyalty that made her return to the search. And her defiance that meant she could never accept what she already knew and have peace.

"Still nothing?" Willow said, her rich feline voice purring like song.

Laura drew her knees up under her chin, resting her head there, and wrapping her arms about herself tightly, noticing the cold, hard ground underneath her, her body tensing, feeling uncomfortable but doing little to allay that. "No. I’m sorry I can’t do more."

"There’s nothing for you to be sorry for," Willow said. "You may be Chosen but you are only human. Even you can’t find what isn’t there to be found. I’ve accepted what I am. That means I’ve accepted you won’t find anything. I don’t know why if I have that you haven’t… or can’t."

"If someone had tried to explain to me about everyone having an aura I could touch as little as only a few years ago, I don’t think I would have believed them," Laura said sadly. "But now it’s everything, it’s my whole world, the source of my power. It’s how I see everything."

"There are no shades of grey in-between?"

"No. I see something and I know it to be true, I see someone’s aura, their spirit, and I know they are real. I can’t see you… I can’t find you… and to me that means you can’t be real. I can’t find the part of you that is real. I can’t accept that."

"Why not? It doesn’t make sense to hunt a prize that doesn’t exist."

"But that’s just it, you do exist," said Laura. "I can see you with my own eyes, I know who you are. I think of you as a friend. Yet I can’t touch you, I can’t even feel you. How can you not be real?"