The Edge

‘I get the feeling that if I said, like, that I didn’t understand, you know, that you would be kind of stressed out about it?’

‘Very perceptive, Mister…?’

‘Ah, I don’t think I should, like, you know, tell you? You’re this guy who dragged me into a ditch to look at some ladies. You know, I think I’d like to be on my way now.’

‘I’m sorry and I apologise and I sincerely regret causing you the concern that you display, but I need your help.’

‘Okay, thanks and stuff for the apology, see you then, bye now.’

‘Wait for the length of time it takes to explain myself and then decide, I implore you. This is a matter of significant significance, an issue of extreme importance and even, dare I say it, life or death to a good many people.’

‘I really must be making a move now, but…’

‘Look at them and see them all and view their actions and use your eyes. What is it that they are doing?’

The skinny man looked, more for an escape route, but settled on the chicks.

‘You know, they’re just chilling out and being gorgeous and stuff, can I go now?’

‘Can you actually see them, mister?’

‘Yeah, man, they’re swarming round some lucky fellow and being all gorgeous.’

‘Now…can you observe, albeit from the distance we are currently at and with those wobbly eyes of yours, what it is all those wonderful women are holding?’

‘Yeah, course I can. What are they holding? And my eyes aren’t wobbly, man, I just look around a lot.’

‘Well if you could focus on just one place for more than a second then you would undoubtedly see that those wonderful women are each holding a very sharp knife. If you could focus on just one place for more than a second you would very definitely see that the lucky fellow of which you speak has been tied to a stake and is about to be shredded by those wonderful women with the very sharp knives.’

The skinny wanderer really did try to focus on just one place for more than a second. Twice. ‘Okay, yeah, I get it. Can I go now please?’

‘Not yet. Help me save that not-so-lucky fellow and then you can go.’

‘Uh-uh. Nope, I don’t feel like it’s a good day to die, you know?’

‘Come on.’

‘Nooo.’

‘Help me, help that poor unfortunate fellow and help yourself.’

‘No, no, no…what that you say? How? I mean, help myself how?’

The uptight guy almost smiled. ‘Save the life of a stranger and be forever blessed.’

‘Go on, why really?’

‘Help me now and I won’t destroy your guitar,’

‘Chill out, man, just shield me from attack, okay?’

‘I will endeavour to do my very best. Leave your guitar here for now and follow me. That is, I mean for you to accompany me on a rescue mission and place your well travelled musical instrument upon the ground where it shall remain safe until we return.’

‘I’m getting the idea, man.’ The skinny man put his guitar down in the ditch with tender care and sighed. ‘The things I do for you, babe.’

‘Would you two like to be alone in privacy away from prying eyes?’

The skinny man staggered to his feet and probed his straggly beard to relieve an itch on the chin that he knew was somewhere underneath. ‘What’s the big plan, uptight guy?’

The uptight guy pointed in a direction that led away from the psycho chicks and said, ‘Run that way, that is travel as fast as your feet can possibly take you in the direction I am pointing, and shout a lot. You need to go right around the camp and head back here, that is you need to plot a course that is as circular as your senses perceive circular to be. Any questions?’

‘Yeah, like, just the one. Am I a decoy?’

‘Yes. Yes you are.’