What If

What if, all of your life you were considered the black sheep of your family JUST because of your own mother? What if God put you with a crazy, abusive, lying, backstabbing, drug addict of a mother for a reason? No matter what you do in your life, you will never be good enough. What if you believed it and gave up. Would anyone care? Would anyone try to "Save" you? What if death were better than life and escape was better than living? What if every time you looked in the mirror, you HATED, not disliked, but actually hated the person you saw? What would you do? Would you live, would you die? Would you run? Would you stay?

Now, what if one day, you were given the chance to change it all. Would you take it? If just one member of your family came to you and told you that they believed in you. After years of hurting and all the pain, one single person offered you the one and only chance at actually living a real life. A chance to know for a moment what normal actually was. A chance to be someone. A chance to be respected, a chance to be loved and a chance to change all the bad things that had ever happened to you. Would you take it?

That is what happened to me. I was sitting in the living room of a friend’s house. I had been beaten, abused, arrested, kicked out, pulled back, molested and tortured all of my life. I was beyond rock bottom at that point in my life. I was more afraid of living rather than dying. I knew at that moment that one decision, one offer, one change, could completely change my entire life forever. My entire life up to that point had been based on hurt and pain. Mainly because I knew no other way of life. My childhood had been taken from me and I was forced to grow up before ever knowing what it was truly like to be a child. All of the things, events, ups and downs had made me numb to life. I wasn’t surprised by anything horrible happening in my life. I had become empty to feelings and human emotions. I wanted so much for a way out but the only thing I could think of up to that point as an escape from this hell was death. I knew at that very moment, if I didn’t take the offer, I would surely be dead soon.

I had seen movies and TV shows about people being "Rescued" in the middle of the night and put into hiding until the "villain" could be captured or killed. Until that night, I thought that only happened in movies. Drastic measures of saving someone were something I really knew nothing about. I had dreamt of it many nights, but until that moment, they had only been dreams. Dreams of a person, to come and take me from this hell that was called my life. My faceless savior with nothing but a warm hand and an open mind. One, who would never judge me, hurt me, lie to me, or beat me. But until that night, those were just dreams.