What If

Empty hopeless dreams from a girl who had been hurt one time to many and never truly knew that there was a life out there waiting for her.

Now, after eighteen years of dreaming of a faceless person, one who would come in, take me out of the hell that was considered my world and just make it all better, this person now had a face. It was the last person I would ever have guessed and the one and only person who I knew in my heart and soul would be the ONE I could trust. I knew without any doubt that this person would never let anyone hurt me physically, treat me bad or disrespect me as long as I was by his side. This person was my hero. This person was and forever will be one of the greatest men I will ever have known. This person was my grandfather.

He was the one person in my life that I knew would defend me against my mother. He had always stood for right in my life. I had never seen him do anything wrong. He was what I considered a man of his word and one that would never go back on what he believed to be right. He always stood for truth and justice. My grandmother had always been the calm and quiet one of the family. But after knowing the truth, I found out that the calm was always because she was surveying the situations at hand and the quiet was because she was always taking mental notes. Remembering key information, conversations, placing of furniture, everything that would later help or hurt a person. She was a woman of honor. Well respected in the family as well as by anyone that had ever come in contact with her. In my mind, she was considered the brains of the family.

My grandfather on the other hand was the strength in that relationship. He was a big man and his size was sometimes mistaken. People feared him because of his straight forward attitude and his consistent persistence to get to the bottom of a problem and solve it. He never really cared who was hurt from a problem. If they were in the wrong, then he told them. He never stood behind a person if he had any doubts that this person was lying to him, was in the wrong or was at fault for the situation that was caused. His friends always knew him as the man who knew a little about everything. Always the one they would call when they were in trouble, always the one to call when they needed help. He was there for his friends and he was there for his family.

Together, the two of them were unstoppable. I took all of this into consideration and accepted the offer at a better life. That night, I packed what little I had left as far as worldly possessions, took my dog and vowed never to go back to the lifestyle I had been living in or going through for so many years.

I was taken to my grandfather’s house that night and I remember the conversation we had outside as if it had just happened. We sat outside on the porch talking and smoking cigarettes till all hours of the morning. We discussed many things that night. What I had gone through in the past month, why I was there, and why he decided to take me of all people to help. He told me many things that night that will forever stay in my mind. Many things that I will use on a daily basis and many things that will forever be my way of life.

He told me that night that I must learn to treat all people the same. Whether they are a friend, a stranger on the street or a family member I have known for years.