W I N O

"Ain't that a great idea? Your own plastic spoon."

"Special offer, lady. Comes free with the can."

"You get a plate if you buy two."

"Mmmmm. All that talk of cat food. Making me hungry already. Back to you in the studio, Jerry."

"Say, that looks great, Rositta. Bottle of turps, got yourself a banquet. Hey, Frank."

"Jerry. Jerry, hey. Great jacket."

"What some people throw away, Frank. Frank? Can you step out a minute, here? I want the people to see this. Hey, right. He can move."

"Helps with the, eh scratching, Jerry."

"Ain't just fixed to that chair. Don't want the audience thinking we gave you a job because you've got a disadvantage."

"Might just end up with one by the time I'm finished here."

"He's been looking them up, people. I want you to see this, folks. Roll them up, Frank."

"Sure you want to see this, out there?"

"We had a peep earlier. Quite safe, people. Unless he takes his shoes off. See. Both the same colour. Yeah."

"A friend."

"Left them to you? Still warm were they, Frank? Going to jumble sales next. So, what have you got for us today, Frank?"

"Here's a couple of freebies to kick off the day. Dinsberry Kennels. A release from quarantine. Food going to waste. Wraaarl. Go get it. And. Two until four, for any of you guys in the Bowater area. There's a skip from the Bacon factory going to the Westside incinerator. Pig out on that one if you dare. Some guys shooting a movie down town. Looking for some extras. Bonus if you’ve got the DT's or hallucinations. Request here for somebody to hole up in an elevator for three hours. Don’t know what that one is all about. Refreshments provided. Freephone 860-860-860. Jerry."

"Coming up later. Heads On Beds. The sleeping spot hot line. And don't forget this evening, live in the studio. Doctor Hintick McDervish. Dream teller. Ever wonder what that howling means? If you’re screaming at the wardrobe, then we want to hear from you. Your chance to talk out. Stay with us here on, W - I - N -O. Media. Direct from Downtown Europe. Back soon."

"New trousers?"

"Why, no. I'm wearing Second Flaps."

"Second flaps?"

"Yes. Second Flaps. If your trousers end above your ankles, just slip a Second Flap over each leg. Surprise all your friends. Second Flaps."

"Don't let the shakes get you down. Try new improved, Thaldy."

"I say, old chap. Steady on."

"Free trial offer. Social Security Debit Scheme available."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuaaaaaaagh. Friends, family, loved ones. Say it with screams. Howl-A-Gram. 860-860-868. Waaaaghaaaooouu...."

"For something that can make you see spiders, try Limpies' Meths. No more rashes, stains or blindness. Free paper bag with every half litre. While offer lasts."

"Let me show you something. See these? Free. You know how? Trainer Trading Company. Just bring down your old ones and we'll swap you for new ones. Never know. Might end up with a pair that matches."

"Coming straight up, right now on, W - I - N - O Media. Satellite and cable. Current affairs time. A, W - I - N - O, documentary series; Documentary. This week's story. The legendary. Nobby and Spud Experience: The Last Rebels."

"Boom. Boom, boom. Boom ticka ,boom ticka boom, ticka ticka, went my life on a graph. From inside my head to the box by the bed. Boom ticka"

"I learned to do it at college."

"I learned mine at the Fence works."

"I was studying drama. I had to learn to weld for this part I had in a play."

"I'm not really a welder. I was a plater fitter at the Fence Works.