W I N O

But I could weld a bit."

"First time I ever had a job as a welder, I had to wear this pony tail. Not one that goes around the back of your head. A real one. Sticking out. Had no pants on either."

"I remember my first welding job straight after I left the Fence works. We had to weld in these tin foil grass skirts. In some old power station, so it was. Stood about freezing. Great to dance, just to keep warm."

"We first met in a place called Grimescale on Sea. Just outside Fishly Bay, on the east coast."

"Aye. I was doing the season at Happyland. I was in the backing welders for this Latin American combo. We were on after this guy who used to bend pipes and tubing, then weld them up to make little animals out of them."

"I was working in a night club. I was in this act with these three other blokes. We used to weld scenes from old musicals."

"I first saw Nobby in this pub one night. Had this open mike spot. He got up on stage and did a few numbers. Unaccompanied. Just him and his organ. Nothing else. No welding set. I thought it was great. Something I always wanted to do."

"W e did our first gig in this community centre for the Industrial Disability Forum. Every Thursday. Used to do cover versions. Then we started to write our own stuff."

"That's where we first did, I'll Forever Be Your Extractor."

"Then we became resident at the Manyatta Wine Lodge. There for years."

"Started touring. No' stopped since."

"Aye. Say that again."

"Made a disc when we had enough material to put on it."

"Least we don't have to write songs in the back of a van."

"Aye. Wrote, Oh For The Fur Seals, at a service station outside Kelpton. Then I lost the bit of paper."

"Suppose my favourite is, The Tent You Used To Live In."

"I always liked, When I Save My Branches, Hedges Will Grow. Or, Hands On A Begging Bowl."

"W - I - N - O. Multi-media broadcasting. Coming to you from Downtown Europe. Nobby and Spud. The Last Rebels. Stay with us on W - I - N - O."

"What does it cost to save a life? What can you do to help? We don’t need money. We don’t need your old clothes. Keep your junk. We want you. All of you. Continental Sacrifice Day. If you want to kill yourself, or know of anyone who’s interested to end their life, call us on Terminal Aid 0909098. Die for the dead. Group suicides welcome. All death duties go to charity. And remember. Somebody needs your life"

"Och, we've done two or three of these types of places before. Can have a good night out so you can."

"Aye. Now it's mostly weddings, and the odd church do. Sometimes play the ex-services club on a Sunday."

"Did the County Fayre this year."

"Aye. The Queen was there."

"And Prince Theodore. Nice man."

"Aye. Got our picture taken with Princess Gertrude."

"Used to do the care centres in the off season. Did one the other night there, for the first time in ages. Replacing us now. That makes a change, eh?"

"Say that again. Who else is up tonight?"

"Some of us are not here of our own free will."

"We should rejoice. We should be happy in the memory of being able to hear and see each other again. In a different form perhaps. But it will still be you. Technology is the same for all."

"Who do you know that's being made into paint?"

"The first place I worked was in a confectionery factory. I had to sample all these bars of chocolate and things.