Too Many Cooks!

The metallic box of a room was bare except for the two men, the closed door and one large window. The window was covered with a steel mesh that gave the room a shadowy, sinister mood. The shorter man leaned his face on the high window sill and moaned, "They’re gonna kill us, Frank! They’re gonna kill us!"

Frank stood over in the far corner rubbing his face, "God, Eric don’t you ever shut up?"

"But they’re gonna kill us." Eric moaned again. "You said the restaurant was a gangster proof business. You did say that."

"Well, it would have been if you had kept your mouth shut."

"You said that after the first restaurant was a success the mob guys would come and lean on us." Eric lifted his head from the sill.

"They did, didn’t they?"

"Yeah and we just gave it to them. You didn’t even try to pay ‘em off." Eric shook his head.

Frank nodded, "Yeah, that was part of the plan, wasn’t it?"

"Yeah, but…then we started another restaurant right away."

"Again, part of the plan." Frank walked over to Eric. "So…"

"Well, our new one was a success and theirs failed. All our old customers found our new one."

"The plan, the plan." Frank nodded again. "And if you’d kept quiet we wouldn’t be here right now."

"But the mob guys got angry and came to the new restaurant. What was I suppose to do, give them the new place?"

Frank nodded more vigorously, "Yes! That’s part of the plan. You definitely weren’t suppose to tell them how we made the food irresistible."

"But they were really mad…they kept asking me." Eric almost cried.

"So, again, what exactly did tell them?"

"You know about the retro-virus, how you made it so we could induce the brain’s pleasure molecules, the endorkins…"

"Endorphins, but go on." Frank shook his head.

"And…and how we infected people by putting it on the mailers announcing the restaurant and with the free coupons for the "Smiley Face" dishes." Eric was feeling a little better from talking. "So, they would order the right things."

"You told them about the Smiley Faces?"

"Yeah, sorry, but the Smiley Faces mean that that food has the inducer in it and then when customers eat it they feel really good. Then they always come back."

Frank said, "When these guys come back keep your mouth shut. They maybe nitwits but they’re smart enough to buy Truth Bracelets from Radio Shack, so they know when we’re lying."

"But you never told me the inducer, so I couldn’t tell them, that’s why they got even madder and put us here."

"Would you calm down and try to stay with me here in late 21st century planet Earth. Keep quiet, they’ll be back soon."

Frank heard muffled voices at the door.

"Who had the keys, dammit?" "Not me boss." "Willy has ‘em." "Nope." "I got ‘em" "Well put down the bags and open the damn door." "Okay, sorry boss." "Opps". There was a bang. The door flew open. A four-foot long fish slid into the middle of the room.

Frank looked down at the fish. "Well, I see you got the fish. I hope you got the other things I asked for?"

"Shut up, get back." The Boss walked into the room followed by four guys holding grocery and other shopping bags. They dumped the contents on to the floor.

Frank bent down and picked up a large plastic bottle, "Great, you got the galactose."

"Had to beat up a college kid to get that." Said one of the guys. The Boss frowned him to silence.