Head Prison

I've had warning after warning but I don't give a shit. I know this is gonna be easy. "Mr Ben Detio I sentence you to three months in Trustworthy State Penitentiary." The fat greasy judge smugly announces. The petty crime I love and thrive upon has finally taken its toll. "I've got a feeling I'm going to get sick of you Detio, now out of my sight." Fat chops sprays pompously. I'm taken from the courtroom by two farmyard animals, soon I'll be at my new home.

I go through the standard prison procedures and I highly recommend Shawshank Redemption for S.P.P. info. So I'm introduced to my new cuboid friend, so cold and bare. I sit in the dark, I fear the dark and hastily light up my candle to light up the room. "Ah, that's better" merges with relief in my freshly calmed head. I pull my paperback copy of Catcher in the Rye from beneath my pillow, lay on the bed and start reading, this is going to be easy I think as I nod off to sleep after my long read.

I awake in unison with my three hundred like-minded friends, we all head for our replica breakfasts. After breakfast the new inmates are assigned jobs, I get hit with gardening duties which I'm not too bothered about, anything to occupy my thoughts and make life easier within this seal from the real world.

I'm pulled from my job pulling weeds from the garden by a weed of a warden and his Grizzly Adams look alike partner or whatever, they remind me of Steinbecks George and Lenny. "You've got visitors already" says the weed . You've got visitors already echoes as the giant repeats the weeds words. They escort me to the visitors room.

My mother and sister's forced smiles greet me as I enter the room, both of them hug me then we sit to talk. "How are you Ben" Mum and Kim say slightly out of time with each other, " I'm doing great it's only three months it's no problem," I reply. Then we go into the usual family shite, how's this one doing and how's that one doing, more hugs follow and two departing gifts a radio and a jigsaw puzzle.

Later that night as I enter my cell I see the radio and the dumb jigsaw puzzle. I hate those fucking puzzles. So I lie in my bunk processing all of my first full days impressions, I smile, this is going to be easy. I've got a job, books, a radio and that puzzle, forget the puzzle it can lie there, so I've got everything planned, just keep my mind occupied. My meeting with the wardens earlier made me want to read Of Mice and Men again, as I settle to read my good book all I hear is the slamming of cells 2, 4, 6, 8, 10......

....12, 14, 16, 18, 20 months is what I've been told to expect from my blood sucking lawyer. I've had sentence after sentence but I don't give a shit, I know this is gonna be easy. "Mr Ben Diteo, I sentence you to 22 months in Trustworthy State Penitentiary" the older fatter now bald greasy judge says with a frown of steel. " Detio, I'm sick of the sight of you. Guards take this dirt out of my courtroom" the fat bastard shouts at me as I pray for a heart attack for him. Napoleon and Babe take me from the court. I'll soon be at my old home.