What am I

THE INVASION.

.......... SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE" the counting stops then there’s dead silence and cold waves, fear collides with confusion as I raise my head to the gap where I could see all. I nearly die as one of my sisters faces suddenly appears before me. It was like looking into a mirror, but I could see tears of terror running down her beautiful face.

My sisters warm blood splats all over my stunned face as WHY echoes in disbelief in my distorted head. My big sister who protected me was beaten to death with a wooden bat one foot in front of me, then dragged to the side like some kind of irrelevant garbage. I was glued to the spot with a fear adhesive as the ultimate horror unfolded before my very eyes.

Everyone in the village was being attacked by men with guns and bats, my grandfathers lore was real. I see my mum run from one of the evil men, I can see him catching up on her I want to shout, I want to shout, but I witness my mothers eyes pour out of her gentle head as the crack from her skull being crushed fervently by an animal with a piece of wood breaks my heart. Devastation becomes me, I didn’t know this kind of hurt existed, I can’t believe barbaric people like that exist.

I still can’t shout, some in built mechanism stops me expressing my anger in shouts, survival makes me a coward. I want to cry, I want to be strong, I want to die, I want to live for revenge, I want to be not confused, then my mind is recaptured by the killing that surrounds me.

I see my other sister, she’s stuck to the spot with fright, one of those bastards is standing right above her, he is grinning, she looks at him, she is crying and is clearly looking for mercy. I see her delicate sweet face twist and hear her neck break as one swift blow takes her from me, the murderer laughs as he murders. Pain flows freely through my veins, then I’m numb, I feel nothing, I’m just a pair of eyes watching, I’m a tortured silent witness scarred forever.

All the rocks around me are covered in innocent blood, suddenly my father appears in front of me he is franticly looking for all the family, he scowers the rocky red beach without success, I could see hoplessness in his eyes. BANG a bullet hole appears in the middle of his head. blood spurts like a guiser as he falls to the ground he has painted blood red.

My dads dead, everyone I know and love are dead, I wonder if I will ever come out of the shock I am now in. I close my eyes and wish to die, death was the only thing that could fill the hole that was left deep within me. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING..........

THE AFTERMATH

.......... NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, "SON, SON " shouts a familiar voice, snapping me out of my blank state of mind. I’m pulled from the rocks, relief is the best I could feel as I realise it’s my grandfather pulling me from my worst seat in the house. "Thank God your alive" he gasps as he pulls me close. "Your mum, dad and sisters are gone son, they were murdered" he says in anguish.