What I saw

My name is Jay, this is what I saw.

.....THUD. A stupid girl with a blood red and white spotted summer dress bangs her head off the glass as she admires her own cheap reflection in the window of the most expensive jewellers in town. As the thoughts of buying a new piece of status bolstering jewellery enters her head, she excitedly enters the shop.

"Can I help you madam" asks a turned up nose with a voice to match, "Oh yes, oh yes, tee he" the dumb, but obviously rich blonde replies. "See the gold ring in the shop window. The one to the left, no right. Hold on, that ones the right" she asks the salesman holding her left hand fully extended. She says "Is this my right" while her right hand is half extended because she isn’t quite sure if it is her left or right.

The salesman shakes his head and proceeds to lift trays from the front window so that the airhead can see and point to the item she wants. Her vacant blue eyes widen, her knees go together and she starts bobbing up and down, as the excitement of seeing her chosen piece of jewellery possesses her. "That’s it, that’s it" she yaps as she dribbles and grabs the meaningless band of gold that means the world to her.

"Are you sure madam, this is one of the most expensive pieces we have" a look of disgust hits the salesman for his words as a concertina of credit cards are drawn from the bimbos purse. "Just give me the ring," she says to the salesman with a snarl I didn’t think she was capable of. The salesman hurriedly charges her for and wraps for her, the ring. She snatches the ring and storms out of the door her face like fizz.

Just as the shop door closes her eyes widen and she gets all of her excited symptoms again. She can’t wait to go and tell her best friend about her new ring and starts to run. In her excitement she doesn’t notice the guy sitting reading a paper at the outdoor tables of the café next door. BANG.....

My name is Jed, this is what I saw.

.....BANG. This clumsy girl in a red dress with white spots on it collides with a guy reading the morning paper and drinking coffee. The table, chair and guy are all tumbled to the ground. The guy jumps up in agony, the change in his front pocket has crushed his balls when he landed face first on the pavement.

"You stupid fucking bitch" he shouts followed by him doubling up as the delayed pain reaction kicks home. "Oh sorry, sorry" the girl whines as she scuttles away into the crowd still as excited as she was before crushing the poor guys nuts.

After a good ten minutes of huffing, puffing and awing, he eventually recovers, dusting himself down as he slowly straightens up. He replaces his sunglasses, which match his slicked back black hair. He looks like a poser to me with his expensive brand name training shoes, baggy now dirty designer trousers and dust patched white fruit of the loom tee shirt.