What I saw

His face is beetroot, a cross of embarrassment and anger I think. He straightens up his table and chairs, you know the green plastic gardening furniture type. "Could you give me another coffee please" he asks the waitress. "What a stupid bitch" he tells the waitress as she brings him his fresh coffee. "I know, I saw everything that happened," she says looking towards his crotch. "You can laugh, but you didn’t see the big pile of change in my front pocket. That really did do the damage," he says wiping the little smug grin from the waitress’s face.

He finishes his coffee, stands up and puts his hand into his change laden, potentially deadly front pocket, he is going to pay his bill. The impact must have damaged his pocket lining as a single pound coin falls down the inside of his trousers and hits the pavement with a CHING.....

My name is Jim, this is what I saw.

.....CHING. A little girl hears a pound coin hit the pavement. The guy with the sunglasses hasn’t even noticed that he has dropped it, but the little girl does and she is on to the coin in a flash. She is that quick the guy who looks ruffled for some strange reason doesn’t even notice her or the coin. The little girl runs out of sight.

"I found a pound, I found a pound" the little girl gleefully sings. "What will I get with my pound" she asks herself aloud as I overhear her from a nearby spot. She thinks in silence as she looks in wonder at her new found treasure, her little hazel eyes dart around the street looking for ideas. Her first and obvious choice is the sweet shop a couple of shops away, but this is a clever wee girl and that’s why I said first choice.

She comes out of the sweet shop stuffing her face with some of the goodies she’s just bought. She holds out her hands, one hand is holding the sweets and in the other is a fifty pence piece. She stands there stuffing sweets into her face as she thinks, stares, hums and chews simultaneously. I wonder what her next destination will be. She proceeds to walk along the cracks in the pavement, the walk turns to a skip and the skip becomes a sudden stop with a spin towards her newly elected shop.

She stands in front of the fruit shop, which was funnily enough called The Fruit Shop. She starts to eye up all the fruits on offer. She works her way past the oranges, apples, pears, peaches, grapes, tangerines, lemons, limes, strawberries, pomegranates, plums, kiwi fruits, coconuts, melons, cherries and monkey nuts, suddenly stopping at the bananas.

"Na na naaa, na na na naaa, na na naaa, na na na naaa" she hums as she splits the biggest banana from the bunch. What was that tune she was humming I’m sure it was from some kids program. Anyway when the little girl comes back out of the shop, she has the banana peeled and one bite out of it already. She eats the rest in no time and throws the banana skin over her head onto the pavement. SKID.....

My name is Joe, this is what I saw.

SKID..... Oh my god that poor chap was ever so frightful of being tardy that he didn’t notice the banana skin that littered the gracious street. As his spine and skull hit the pavement, he starts to curse. "Oh, ah who the f**k put that f**king banana f**king skin there, I’ll kill the f**king b*****ds. I’m f**king late for an important f**king date, oh I feel like f**king s**t". I saunter over to him, obviously he doesn’t realise the extent of his injuries. "Who the f**k are you, are you here to steal my wallet and watch you f**king c**t, f**k off you c**t or I’ll kick your f**king c**t in, oh" comes from this things bloody sore sewer mouth.