Wake up call

"You are asking about my life story? Sure, I’ll tell, no problem. But first let me give some details about myself. I’m MC1X2-200, the newest model of house computers. Or at least I was back then when my master purchased me. I’m absolutely resistant to all kinds of radiation and equipped with a complete package of household knowledge. The advertising division of the company which created me said that I would be able to work inside a nuclear reactor. Honestly that is not true, but marketing divisions always make such claims.

I was purchased on a rather ordinary day. My responsibilities in my new home were quite typical: waking up my master, cooking breakfast, and running all the other errands house computer usually do. The problem was my master’s personality. He was rather difficult person in the morning. You know, he was one of those people who lost their temper in one of their dreams, and then temper had problems in finding him again. My master’s temper usually found its way back around noon. Unfortunately I never witnessed these moments.

I was activated in the late afternoon, when my master’s temper was already back with him. I performed my evening duties perfectly. That was my first working day so I gave my best. The night was quiet, and then morning came. At 6 am I had to wake up my master. Back then I did not know the true personality of my master. So, I activated the wake – up call program. Beautiful soft music started from speaker next to my master’s bed, and with a gentle, but deep voice I said:

"Good morning, Mister Andrew. It’s exactly 6 o’clock, time for getting up. Do you have some special requests for breakfast?"

The answer I got was just mumbling, so I offered a suggestion:

"What do you think about worm scramble with a couple tasty peaces of bacon, with…"

One of my master’s slippers flew towards the speaker.

"…freshly sque… "

Wham, xuuxxx...

As the slipper hit the speaker, and my master turned his body towards the other side. I decided to try waking him with light. I turned on the main light. There was a strange, inarticulate yell but my master did not leave bed. I tried to vary the power in the bulb, repeatedly. The second slipper flew toward the lamp and broke it. Anyway, it seems the slipper-throwing finally woke up my master and he left the bed. Or perhaps the shattered glass on his bed did the trick. I was not quite sure at the time. The day passed peacefully. In the afternoon my master brought with him his sister, a new speaker and a new lamp. She replaced the damaged speaker and advised me to be careful in the morning and to not, under any circumstances, speak with the master. I followed her advice. The next morning I switched on the musical system. One of the speakers was behind the statue.

It was a nice statue.

This time my master threw both slippers. The first one missed the statue. Again, the speaker was destroyed, and I realised my master wakes up by he throwing things.

I was managing my master’s bank account - that was one of the standard duties of house computer - and I knew that I could buy a cheap holo - projector. During my master’s working hours the projector was bought and installed. The next morning I woke up my master using this device. That was successful. The slippers did not break anything and my master got up.