Lower Math

In an under world of long forgotten caves, the King of Madness frets. There are only so many long forgotten caves and the reports just submitted by the Minister of Numbers portends an even greater crisis brewing. No, not brewing, percolating out the top of the vat is more like it. Why now? Why in his reign?

Hell, hed only been king six and a half days!

"Here it is", he thinks to himself, "I got a billion damn demons, but I only got a hunnert thousand demonesses. Thems lousy odds for either side. Hell and damn, the waiting line could go round the world and thats with the demonesses working non-stop which we know damn well they aint about to do."

Aloud, he yells to his Minister of Numbers, "Tell me again, damn it all to hell and back three times, why it is we cant just kill most of the demons. You know, cut the overflow off at its source. Why the hell cant we do that?"

"Cause theres a billion of them, the Minister of Numbers answers.

"Aint that what I just said? Lets kill most of them right now starting with you."

With exaggerated patience, the Minister of Numbers asks the King of Madness just what he thinks those billion demons are going to do when the killing starts. He adds a reminder - mostly unnecessary - that the King should remember there are a billion of them and there are exactly 18 loyal palace guards to accomplish the slaughter. Those 18 guards are damn good, no doubt. After all, they did pull off the execution of the former King of Madness just six and a half days ago. Then, again, only a handful of demons even care there is such a position as King of Madness. Somebody yells "stop the madness" and the demons spill out into the world to make sure it doesnt happen. They dont really care that its the King who yells the command; they just know what they are supposed to do when it comes.

They know that and they know that demons are way more important than any damned demoness. Thats why they feel the need to kill a demoness every now and then. You get a billion demons eliminating a demoness every now and then and pretty soon you put a big crimp in the supply line. Because thats another thing demons know real good; they know they are entitled to a handful of handmaidens, ...er..., demonesses, after a particularly satisfying hell raising. Your run-of-the-mill demon dont think so good.

The Minister of Numbers thinks pretty well. He has done the math and he doesnt like what he sees. His own remedy is to kill of all the male babies. Pretty soon, the ratio of male to female ought to start to even out. After a while, the numbers might get to where they ought to be. The Minister of Numbers thinks pretty well when it comes to numbers; he just doesnt know anything about demonesses.

He isnt alone. No demon in existence knows very much about demonesses. No demon in existence has given it much thought at all. Other than the common knowledge mentioned earlier. You can already see whats coming now, cant you? You can see that the King of Madness is going to have to talk to some demoness to get a clue as to how resolve the situation. What would make a demoness want to indulge in such a conversation? Dont feel bad; the King of Madness doesnt have a clue either.

It isnt too difficult to picture, though. Youre a demoness.