The Banquet

This gave Zlob a great advantage over every other caterer on the ship. For weeks he had been able to try out new recipes in secret. Given a planet hopper and crew by his government he went from planet to planet in search of ideas. He would choose a relish here, a garnish there, but what eluded him was the main courses. Then he hit upon the small, dirty, blue planet in a far corner of the universe. It was teaming with life and after making a quick inspection of the main inhabitants and checking in the ships’ library, he hit upon a plan. It was bold, it was ambitious, it was Zlob down to a tee. A few trials with the local delicacies and Zlob was satisfied. He tested a few dishes with the ships’ crew and they loved every bit of it. No one turned the meals down, and many asked for more. He’d found his latest speciality and knew that everyone was going to love it. All he had to do now was work out the details and add a few little extras. It was going to be the dish of the year...

+ + +

They came for Jason and Mary-Ellen last. He had no idea why. When he saw the creature in front of him his mind went completely. He had no idea it was him screaming as his reason began to go.

"This can’t be real. This can’t be real. This can’t be real" he said over and over again trying to make the thing go away. In the compartment next to him he could hear someone screaming and knew it must be Mary-Ellen. There was nothing he could do for her. There was nothing anyone could do.

As the creature leaned over him he could smell a sweetly sick aroma coming from it. It was unlike anything he had ever know, or was ever likely to. Suddenly the thing sprayed his arms and chest with something and Jason immediately felt icy cold. Then Jason felt the pain. His eyes moved down his body to see that he was being cleaned and gutted like a fish whilst his arms and chest seemed frozen solid. He could see the thing remove his intestines, take out all the waste matter and then wash and clean his out.

"Why am I still alive?" he asked himself as he felt himself turned on his side. What looked like metal wires were wrapped round his arms and legs pinning them together then he was coated with something sticky and that was the last thing he ever remembered as his mind snapped completely. He had long since forgotten the screams of Mary-Ellen.

+ + +

Zlob was not only famous for his cooking, but also for his enormous size. He was famously overweight and equally famed for his sparkling wit and after dinner speeches. For Zlob, this occasion was no different than any other great t.v. show and he was going to take full advantage of it. Many of the guests had been stunned and surprised as his main dish was wheeled in before the delegates. There were gasps of amazement at his culinary expertise and loud applause as the rows of food were placed on the tables.

Zlob sat at the head of the Captain’s table with the chief delegate from his home planet along with the head of the light entertainment company. It was only a matter of seconds before the Captain of the starship asked him to explain how he had come up with his latest ideas, and Zlob, t.v. chef to the core, had his speech all prepared. As the meal was served by a hundred waiters Zlob slowly raised his great weight onto all four of his feet and started to speak. He knew he had triumphed again.

"My friends, and I do think of all of you as my friends," he said jovially, "I welcome you all here today to enjoy this feast before you. This is food from the blue planet in the Nexus system and you will find a wide variety of dishes here for you to try.

On their planet they are called humans. We have thoroughly cleaned and prepared the meat, surrounded by local delicacies from within their own Earthly territories. Here you will find dishes with labels in Chinese, Greek, and Vietnamese. There is also a little Greek, and some Spanish food.. Whatever your personal tastes, I am sure you will love it. And, my friends, if you don’t mind, I would like to indulge myself at this gathering. After all, I am the one who has done all the work for this meal, heh, heh, and I would like to add, ....if you don’t mind my saying... there is nothing wrong with being a fat Zlob and eating a Kentuckian fried with chicken followed by a baked Alaskan.......

THE END