The Mission

"Ahhhh..." He smiled even more lecherously than before. "The only one. You do have a certain ability to motivate your underlings, you know. This, however, smacks of bribery, and it just might work! That, and those incredible legs, along with the occasional glimpse of your red and white polka-dot, bikini panties which no doubt conceal delights far beyond my pitiful imagination."

Accustomed to Nietzsche’s lascivious remarks, and the sobriquet he had bestowed on her years ago while performing the role of her Best Man at her second wedding, she had long since learned to respond in kind. "And concealed they shall remain. On the other hand, if that’s what it takes for you to finish your book, I am prepared to offer you a taste of those forbidden delights upon its publication."

"Liar."

"Of course."

"Bitch."

"Child molester."

"Prick teaser."

"Premature ejaculator."

"Whore."

"Limp-dick."

"I’m getting turned on."

"Publish your book, big fella." She wet her lips with her tongue and re-crossed her legs, flashing him a brief glimpse.

"You win. I’ll get it done, even though I know you’re going to renege as sure as I know I’m about to soil myself."

"I never promised anything...I hinted."

"I’ll take the risk. We’re all corruptible, you know."

"I know. But for the present, how is it coming, really, no pun intended?"

Nietzsche leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head. "I never realized that there were so many bizarre things that happened in American history. I’m having a hell of a time keeping it manageable."

"Why not try writing about significant events for a change?"

"All events are significant, as I so fruitlessly tried to point out four fucking times! You may recall the world-wide acclaim that greeted their publication."

"Douglas, I think you’re a genius. But other people, people with power, tend to be blinded by such brilliance. Have you ever thought about including events that are commonly acknowledged as significant for a change? Not like your articles, treasures of speculation though they may be."

"But what about the identity of Lincoln’s assassin?"

"A curiosity, but hardly Earth-shattering."

"The Lindbergh kidnapping?"

"Big deal."

"Our secret contact with Ho Chi Minh?"

"We were lucky. So what?"

"Well, how about the day John Lennon was shot?"

"Really, Douglas. I just hope you’re more convincing in your book. What you’re saying about them amounts to nothing but trivia in the minds of more, shall we say, pedestrian historians. I know you made a good case about alternate possibilities, but the book has to go in a different direction. You don’t have to give up your ideas, just deal with some events that are important to others as well."