Of Parasites and Pirates

I would not choose to appear so easily unbalanced, but there it is.

"You look sadly unconvinced." He leans forward in earnest now, and I can almost perceive the surgical perfection of his dental work. "See now, we studied civilizations, tribes and communities around the galaxy. Only one commonality existed across all boundaries of time and space. When a society is truly at the complexity of populations and specializations to be called civilization, a number of socio-types emerge which, before, were unable to be supported. Beggars, thieves, shiftless con artists. With a sufficiently complex layering of society, they can exist without being immediately scoured out and disposed of. At some point, there are so many individuals begging, stealing, and lying each other out of goods and services, there is little difference between the average citizen and the average parasite." I think a bit, my brain grinding like an old wooden wheel along cobbled streets, before I can speak. I think this is a cogent thought.

"You mean, like a body which has all its particular functions, the more complex it is, the more cells are allowed to be dysfunctional, to fail, to exist to no purpose except their own. They provide nothing for the body, only feed off it. But, wouldn’t some of the cells, the citizens, necessarily function in order to feed the others? How can your society exist without somebody doing some kind of fruitful occupation!" I would say ‘touché’, but his indulgent eyes take even that small triumph from me.

"Oh, there are a few aberrant individuals with a desire to create, or plant and sow, but we are currently drafting laws to make even these contributive endeavors illegal. Therefore they will be forced into the main as being morally suspect. And since slavery has been illegal for a very long time, naturally we keep slaves. And there are always the mechanicals, of course."

"And what you will not forge on your own?" I am frowning now. He is still cool as ice cream, or as the scented breeze wafting the restaurant from unseen vents.

"Why, we steal that from other, less advanced cultures than ours. After all, that is what all civilized nations do." Even I can not dispute this. I spin the ice in my glass as he finishes, catlike.

"The universe is truly civilized, my dear, and we pirates are merely its proof."

And with that, I know I am lost. My superiors will not approve. They will denounce my report as artless and derivative, stolen from previous sources who attempted interviews with this lot.

And they will be right.