D and the art of learning

Sunita and I always call him D. Our own little code word in our own little world. She would sometimes use di but that reminded me of the Princess so I always preferred to stick to d.

His entrance into our life was unexpected, but then most of God’s little gifts are almost always unexpected. He didn’t seem like a gift at all - unfriendly ... decidedly, arrogant ... definitely, rude ... undoubtedly. Sunita didn’t think much of him at first. In fact everyone wondered how he and I got along at all. That question was never answered.

One of the first things he did was force me to buy a book that he felt would really help me. "Its about life" he had said, and always maintained that he had had a sixth sense that I needed it. I had needed it but it just so happened that he said that to everyone. Everyone needed something to make them stop and think. And that was just what I was about to start doing.

Who am I? Where am I going? Is this what I had wanted to be? Questions ran wildly through my head and I didn’t have an answer for any of them. D of course had all the answers as long as the questions being asked didn’t involve him. He had his own logic for everything in life - his favorite one being " Everything in life is temporary. You just have to learn to deal with it ". Like most people, he couldn’t solve his own problems but could see everyone else’s clearly. And he was always there to listen to them and help out. He loved to welcome everyone to his ‘rehab’ program - which is what he liked to call it.

As time went by the three of us became almost inseparable. We couldn’t have been from more diverse backgrounds. With a two-year age difference between me and D and another two years between him and Sunita, with different dreams and ambitions, different styles of talking and with completely different lives before and ahead of us, we were an unlikely threesome. But we got along like a house on fire.

Its been said that life is not just about being happy. It’s about the experiences you have, the people you meet and the lives you touch along the way. Well D was really beginning to touch our lives. It started with his style of talking. Sunita and I picked it up unknowingly and soon all three of us were talking in his typical way. So many times when he wasn’t around, I would say exactly what I knew he would say had he been there. I could always feel his presence. Sunita and I just carried on being swept away in the storm - doing the things he liked to do, going to his favorite joints, watching the movies he wanted to watch ... we were living his life and he was beginning to get used to the extended group.

But all good things come to an end and before we knew it, it was time for me to leave. Sunita and I felt as if we had this bond which was about to be broken and we both knew that things would never be the same again. But D seemed totally cool. He was of the opinion that one should cherish the old but get on with the new. For both Sunita and me, tears flowed endlessly the day I was leaving, while D stood patiently watching us do the predictable sentimental farewell. He didn’t want any part of it.

Now, six months down the line, all the promises to keep in touch have disappeared and the three of us have grown vastly apart. We are leading the busy, different lives that we always knew we had. But there’s still something that hasn’t changed. The smile that comes sneaking onto our lips the moment those days are recounted, the memories that each of us can still relive just by closing our eyes, and the presence.

It’s no longer their presence I can feel. It’s their personality that rubbed off on me. It’s no longer what they would say or do, because I now do that myself. It’s no longer missing them or being lonely, because I carry them with me, always. They are now a part of the person I am, and this is their greatest gift to me.