Surface Seems So Peaceful

I felt like I had betrayed you, my stomach turning as bile crept up into my throat. In the bathroom, I could hear Auntie Tara on the phone while I stared at my reflection in the toilet bowl.

"Hi Constable, it’s Tara Hathor-yes-well I know-uh huh-I understand--it’s just that--it seems that we have a bit of a problem here…"

I know you can hear me Kat. You can’t be mad at me. You love me and I love you. We were both raised studying the rules-the consequences. You knew them better than I did, than anyone.

Now here you sit, strapped down with leather bands across wrists and ankles, your forehead tied back with iron, wires falling from your scalp like fishing line. Your brown hair is wet with sweat and slicked back like when we went swimming all those years. Oh, here, I brought you Corduroy. I’ll put her on your lap. They are going to pull the switch soon so I’ll make this quick.

Take care Kat, I’ll miss you, but this is the way it has to be. You taught me that so many years ago. Think of all the fun that we’ve had as the energy surges through you. They say all the pleasant memories come to you at once and that it feels like you are floating-imagine that you are a lily pad at our pond. Just don’t hate me Kat. I hope you would have done the same.

Like I told you earlier, she struck again last night. That’s 52. I wonder if they will catch her soon. If you ask me she should be the one in this chair. But I guess that’s just the way it works.

Kat, you were the best older sister anyone could ever have. I love you. I guess I will have to get used to our room being so empty now. I’ll miss you. I’m so sorry it has to be this way. Take care.

Just remember that you brought this on yourself. You broke the rules. It wouldn’t be right of me not to say that you deserve it Kat. That you deserve to die.