The Phone Call

But she would never tell her mother the truth. Even if she had to lie, she wanted her mother to see that she was actually trying.

"It's great, Mama. I get my hair and make-up done and just stand there and drink Pepsi - and they're paying me. Isn't that great? I don't know anywhere in Newark where I can do that."

For a second, she heard nothing. Rosemary's first instinct was that the line had been disconnected because of the storm. But then, she realized what had actually happened. Her mother was sighing on the other end of the line, just soft enough to barely be heard. She knew that even if she had landed the part in the commercial, it still wouldn't make her mother happy. She knew her mother was dead-set against her move to California and felt that Rosemary was wasting her life, chasing after a dream that was never going to happen.

When she was little and first told her mother that she wanted to be an actress, her mother laughed. 'Honey, you have to be pretty to be an actress', she said. Her mother explained that no one with mousy brown hair and glasses ever becomes a successful actress and she was right. That was the worst part about everything her mother ever said, she was always right. She always knew what was going to happen to Rosemary and had always made it clear though Rosemary had fought against it her entire life. Although, as time passed and reality began to set in, Rosemary realized her mother was right.

"Well, that's wonderful. I'm looking forward to seeing your face on TV." The flatness in her voice betrayed the compliment Eleanor intended. If only her daughter would have some sense. Sense enough to realize you don't put all your efforts into some stupid commercial. But, then again, Rosemary never did have any sense.

Eleanor recalled the day Rosemary came home from school waving the flyer announcing the tryouts for the school play, begging for permission to audition. She'd firmly explained to Rosemary that she didn't think it was a good idea, that she would probably lose out to someone blond and pretty and she'd just end up crying and angry. She knew that her daughter was not what the director was looking for. Eleanor didn't want to see herself embarrassed by listening to all the apologies the other parents would have to offer when she would pick Rosemary up at the end of the audition. She didn't want her daughter upset over some stupid play. But Rosemary took the advice as a challenge and practically demanded Eleanor allow her to audition. Thinking of her daughter, as always, Eleanor acquiesced.

Not surprisingly, the result had been just as she had predicted. The lead and most of the other roles were given to prettier, skinnier, blond girls. Somewhat chunky, brown-haired Rosemary was offered a stage hand position as a consolation by the director. Eleanor had been so embarrassed by this display she informed Rosemary she was forbidden to help with the play, citing that if they didn't want her as the lead, she shouldn't give in to the bones they threw at her. Once again, Rosemary ignored her and accepted the position with even more fervor than she would have the lead role. Eleanor watched her make the sets, clean the stage, and help the actresses, all the while never realizing that she had lost and was simply making a fool out of herself. No, thought Eleanor, she never really understood that she lost.