Billy Bo Bob and his Redneck Adventure

Unfortunately Billie Sue couldn't pass up on a fresh raccoon and shot poor old Clem (Billie Sue can't see very well because when she was younger she always ran with scissors...I will let you complete the mental picture) and so she mistook Clem for a raccoon and shot him.

After the grieving period, the Redneck Clan continued towards town with the sounds of truck engines and shooting of squirrels. Jed saw a big squirrel and started to run through the forest with scissors in his hand and a Jimbo Crockett squirrel hat on his head (Jimbo was David's younger and less famous Redneck brother. He stared in movies such as "Has anyone seen my toilet brush back scratcher", "32 Rednecks, one set of teeth" and "My dad sat behind me in 5th grade" and teaching videos such as "Hunting for dear with your car" and "17 Uses for shad carpet"). Billie Sue saw the squirrel and shot it. After the funeral the clan continued to move towards town. After this point the clan no longer wore animal firs around Billie Sue.

After yet another grieving period (hey, you would grieve to if you were a redneck who didn't get any 'coons or 'quirrels) the clan roared towards town. Unfortunately for the clan, only Bubba Bob the Third had a valid drivers licence (but even this is not a great accomplishment since Bubba Bob found the licence in a pair of plaid coveralls at the dump) and as a result Bubba Bob drove off the side of a cliff into swamp grove lake. Bubba Bob was able to escape out the window but Joe Bob, Jake Bob, Sallie Sue Bob and Bob Bob Bob Bob drowned when they were unable to release the tailgate.

The Bob family was quite upset about the entire ordeal (understandable so, that truck was a 79 Chevy!) Now they only have the John Deere family car. Since the average attention span of this Redneck clan was 10.2 minutes the rest of the clan began to lose interest in the rebellion and started to go hunting for dear with their vehicles (Jimbo Crocket was a real help in his instructional video.)

Billy Bob ranted and raved about his 'truckeroo' and how the Rednecks could rule the world. These statements seemed to fall on deaf ears (literally deaf ears, according to the clans recent poll half the clan was deaf while only 40% where able to hear) for the rebellion was over before they had even left the driveway.

Billy Bo Bob drove back to town and walked up his driveway with his head down. His neighbours moved with unusual kindness, said, "What's wrong Billy? It's not like you had a plan to take over the world." Little did they know what truth that statement held, but all Billy could get out is "I like my truckeroo." Walking into his backyard he fell asleep in his duck tape hammock while dreaming of the grandeur that could have been.