Average

Terry Toodles was an average alien. He was of an average height, owned an average looking spaceship, and his skin was an average tone of green. But of course, like any average alien, Terry had his fair share of problems. Lately, he had noticed an unusual string of good fortune, and knew some sort of disaster was inevitable. We meet up with Terry in the second galaxy of Zaboo, flying leisurely through the Zochtar system, three hundred thousand miles from a barbarous and uncivilized planet known as Earth.

Terry Toodles entered the control bay of his ship The Zwoop, and switched the controls to manual operation. It had been on autopilot for three light-weeks now, during which time Terry had put himself on a timed hibernation in the freeze time transponders he carried on board. The computer had finally awoken him from his timeless sleep, and Terry decided to have a look at where he was. The computer chided his greetings.

"Good morning Terry, it’s nice to see you up and about. How about some relaxing music to make the time go better, hum?" A sweet melody drifted in all around him, admitted from hidden speakers throughout the bay. Terry grimaced.

"That’s enough, computer. Enough!" The music cut off and he smiled.

"What can I help you with then? Food?" With a hum the bay door rose up and in came a robot servant with a tray of a Curbish delicacy from his homeland and a bottle of wine. Terry waved him off. "Then is the temperature to your liking? Too hot? Too cold? A vent opened up to his right and blasted warm, dank air in his face.

"Stop it, stop it." The vent cut off and hid itself again. "All I need is a view, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble." Terry added a hint of sarcasm but the computer wasn’t programmed to notice.

"Sure." The wall in front of him flickered and a picture of a planet came to view.

"Specs, computer."

"It will be my pleasure, Terry." He sighed. "This is planet Earth, a small planet of the Zochtar system. They are barely evolved in space flight, and have few star-jumping vehicles. Earth is home to just under eight billion people and is primarily made up of . . . made up of. . . Of-of-of-of." A crash ricocheted through the spaceship and Terry hit the floor hard. "An, an asteroid . . . we . . . we’re going doowwwnnnn." The computer’s voice slowed and cut out completely. The engine cut out abruptly and the spaceship slowed. It came to a brief stop before dipping its nose and plunging toward Earth.

"Damn that gravity!" Terry grabbed on to the controls just as the force jolted his body up towards the ceiling. Struggling, he managed to pull himself into a bolted down seat near the controls and buckled himself in. The view showed a picture of the Earth, spinning fast and steadily nearing. It made him dizzy. He grabbed the nearest lever and yanked it toward him. The nose came up briefly, leveling out the ship. Terry pulled harder and the nose started up even further before the lever snapped in his hands and the nose dropped once again, the ship increasing speed with every passing second. He swore and tossed the lever aside. He’d have to crash-land it.

"Damn this ship!" The spaceship was entering the Earth’s atmosphere and the trip began to get bumpy. The nose of the spaceship glowed a bright orangish-white as they plummeted on. Lights started to flash warnings, screaming to slow down, pull up, turn back. Terry punched the panel and they, too, cut out.