Alan and the afterlife

He also thought about what would happen if he just died without making any choices at all.

At one point in Alan's life he decided that his favorite thing to do was to play marbles and that was how he wanted to spend his eternity. Alan then thought to commit suicide quickly before he changed his mind therefore being frustrated again.

His thought process went like this:

Then Alan's Mother walked in and rudely interrupted his suicide.

"Alan, what are you doing", she said in her high pitched annoying voice, not really paying attention to anything at all.

"Just killing myself mother." Replied Alan

"Alright, just don't tell your father..."

"Alright mom."

The conversation had ended, and Alan was ready.

"Here I go", said Alan as his final words.

One thing Alan didn't realize was that the rope was 17 feet long and that when he jumped he would just end up on the floor without snapping his neck, being still very much alive, with 12 feet of slack left over.

"Shit." said Alan, as he hit the floor.

And "shit" was the exactly perfect thing to say in a situation like this. Alan was left alive and still frustrated, unknowing and quite irritated.

Indecisive people are the worst kind of people. There is absolutely nothing worse that asking someone what they want to do and they say "Whatever", or respond with the classic "I don't know". Alan would respond exactly like this, for Alan was indecisive. It was common knowledge in Knowville that indecisive people were terrible people and that was another reason why Alan felt pressured to become more able to make decisions. When Alan tried to commit suicide it was a time of hopelessness for him. He was even more hopeless after he failed to die. But strangely there was a surprise for Alan that awaited him in the future. What Alan didn't know was that the rope he used to hang himself was made of Super Fabrico-strip de Nylon, the strongest material ever. The strength of the rope has nothing to do with the story but the fact that Alan was unknowingly deathly allergic to this rope does. Alan only realized this when he started to break out in a rash around his neck. After consulting with a doctor Alan learned that he only had a short time to live.

"Hmmm.." was Alan's reaction.

Alan had not decided how to spend eternity. Afterwards he spent so much time thinking about it that before he knew it he was dead.

Alan was dead, and was strangely now in the presence of a large man dressed in a black cloak in what seemed to be a white room full of everything all at once.

"Hello Alan. Do not worry your 3 and a half minutes is about to begin first I will read you the documentation". The man reached in his large cloak for a piece of old withered paper.

He started to read.

"I Sammy Darklord, bearer of death, hereby pronounce thee Alan dead for all time."

He tucked the paper back in his cloak, then began to talk.

"Ehhhem. Good. Alan, you are dead. You know have 3 and a half minutes to spend deciding what you want to do for eternity. After your three and a half minutes is up, you will then have a have the experience of a magical teleportation to the place you have decided to spend eternity, and be magically transformed into the form of what you have chosen to spend your eternity as.