Even If You Dream

The room was totally empty Kienan stepped into the middle of it and ground out his cigarette. "Begin," he said.

Kienan immediately felt his body grow heavier as the gravity generators increased the relative gravity to 2.5 gravities. Kienan ignored the sudden feeling of heaviness and threw a punch. Then a kick. Then two punches followed by two kicks. Then three punches, two kicks on the same leg ending with a flying kick.

He smiled, sweat pouring off of his body. He pulled his loose red shirt off of him and tossed it to the floor. His golden skin was already soaked with sweat, every muscle on his body was tense, straining against the crushing gravity.

Kienan kept training, moving faster and faster, pushing harder and harder against the gravity.

* * *

The bottle of Scotch was well on its way to being emptied. Kienan felt none of the shots he had taken. One of the advantages of living in space all your life was that the human body synthesized oxygen much more efficiently. However, it made getting drunk nearly impossible.

Kienan looked at his watch.

"I'm telling you not to go," Lil said. "Stay here with me."

Kienan's brow furrowed in irritation. "Why are you so intent on me not going?"

"Because you're not gonna like what you find when you get there," Lil said, pouring herself another shot. "Kienan, I know you care for that girl a lot. But--"

"Lil, I--"

Lil looked at him as she set the shot glass down.

"But she's not going to come back with you," Lil said. "She can't, not anymore, and you’re a fool to expect her to. You think she wanted this? All she wanted to do was run away from you, and while she was running and looking back over her shoulder, she wasn't watching where she was going. And now . . .she's been swallowed up by something."

"Meaning what?" Kienan asked, suddenly impatient, and a little stung.

"Kienan, she won’t come back. She won’t want to come back to you."

Kienan took a long drag off of his cigarette. "Why? You’re telling me working Gao's place is her lot in life? The woman comes from a life of privilege . . .she wasn't mean for this."

"Maybe not at first," Lil said. "But now she is. She's broken inside, Kienan. The Rush, the . . .what's she's doing now . . .she's broken inside her heart. And nothing you can do can fix that. I know you want to try, I know every single piece of your heart aches to be able to fix it, and be able to save her, but you can't. Not even someone like you."

Kienan looked at her, then down at the counter. One last shot. Lil pushed it over to him.

"You expect me to just take it?"

"No," Lil sighed. "I expect you'll go anyway. I did, once, and my daughter's still there. Just like I used to be."

Kienan put down his cigarette and picked up the shot glass. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Everyone's sorry for something," Lil said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Kienan powered back the shot and set it down, sighing.

"I'm going," he said.

"I know," Lil said.

"I have to know, Lil."

"I know you do," she said, pouring the last of the bottle into her shot glass. "Just remember . . . the truth doesn’t always set people free."

* * *

Kienan stepped into the shower. The workout had helped, but it hadn’t cut into much time. He stripped off his jeans and turned on the water. There was a hiss as the steaming water filled the shower stall. It had been a luxury to have running water on a ship this small, but Kienan figured it was worth it. Especially since he was rich enough to have it installed.

He stepped inside, closing his eyes as the water washed over him. He washed himself slowly, willing himself to only concentrate on the moment. His muscles felt sore, but he felt invigorated all the same.