Soldier

I learned later that I had been in that hole for over two months John, I cant explain why it didnt kill me, other than that I am what I am. I was in a daze, in..another world..everything was different, darker, foreboding. I wandered..what else could I do? The world was torn by war, I was dead to everyone I ever cared about, and even if I could take myself back to them, even if I could return, I didnt want too. I was lost, in body, mind, and soul. Somehow I managed, I found enough money amongst the dead to survive, and I found enough peace the think. I was coming apart, just like you were when my savior found me. His name was Gustav, Gustav Heinemen. I was boarding with a young Czech couple at the time, their names were Michaela and Jakub, I honestly cant remember their last names, but I do recall they were expecting their first child. They let me stay with them, and in return I helped where I could, chopping wood, feeding animals, and hunting with Jakub.

John: Sounds nice.

Russ: It was. For a time. The darkness slipped away, just like it did with you, but it didnt stay away for long. I began to see things, at first they were small things, a cup breaking before it did, a ewe going into labor hours before it did. I think they ceased any doubt when I told Michaela when she would have her son,They were simple people but not stupid. They saw the connection, and they kept silent about it. The only notion that I had that they noticed anything at all, was Jakub asking me about his animals, and insisting that I accompany him to market. I didnt believe that anything I saw was real, I thought..I knew that I was going crazy, and everything else around me was too. The more I saw ,the more things happenend, the more things happenend, the further I slipped away. I began staying awake longer at night, and rising later in the day. I found solace at night, in the deep night, when you can almost imagine that you alone among God's creations are staring up at his moon. Whatever solace I found then began to be disturbed as well. Even the shadows began to whisper to me, everything was wrong, and their whispers became the ululations of madness. My chores became neglected, I ate little and slept less. Michaela and Jakub never mentioned it, I found out later that they pitied this poor American, lost and alone..with no way back. They began asking me to help them less as well, so I sat there alone, and languished.

John: They knew? They knew and they used you like that?

Russ: I wouldnt call it that, I didnt do anything anymore, I had to earn my keep somehow,and helping with what I could was a small thing to ask, especially of a mad man.

I remember the night he came, alone not even a horse with him, just him, his pack and his shadow, trudging through the bitter cold of the winter evening. I remember thinking, knowing, somehow that he had come for me, to take me away from my safe place and drag me screaming back to hell. I was the only one awake, and I waited until he had knocked 5 or 6 times, hoping that he would go away, but he didnt, and slowly I crept down the stairs towards the door, the shadows whispering the whole way. When I opened the door, he was almost 5 steps away heading back into the night. He turned and the light fell on him, he was dressed in the uniform of a german soldier.