Soldier

Dont lose yourself, and help them find themselves, theres not much glamour, there isnt any fame. But it keeps you going, and when the darkness starts to creep out, you can face it..with a clear mind..and a clear heart. In the end..all that matters is that you hold on to your soul." When I asked if I would ever see him again, he said he didnt know, and that it had been a pleasure knowing me. I remember saying through my tears "Im..Im going to miss the hell out of you Russ, you saved my life..twice." He just smiled and said "In a way John, you have saved mine too..see you around."

When he left I went back to the park and began to write this. Funny how little it had changed, I wonder if it recognized me, an old friend to posterity. I saw the trees grow to greater heights, I saw the pavement crack, be patched and crack again. I saw innumerable coats of paint come and go on my bench, and children laugh, grow to adults, play with their own children, and fade away. I felt..alone..but I also felt privileged, to be a part of so many things, and I looked forward to more. As I sat there, late into the night, Russell's words came back to me. A soldier, I realized then what he meant, a soldier fights for the good of everyone else, he goes on because he is part of what he is fighting for. I remembered Fitch, and Cartwright, and Carroli, Elise, and Diane and all the people I had known, and what they left with me. I thanked them then, I thanked their ghosts..because in the end..thats all we are. I will go on, I will learn more about myself, what I have become, and in the end about everyone, because I am part of them too..a part apart perhaps..and I may not be in the center of their world, but the best view sometimes..is from a distance. Just before I went to leave a little girl went darting past, I used what I had been shown as I looked at her. I saw that she would slip on a rise of cement not a few feet away. I reached out and grabbed her as she fell. Her mother who was chasing after her saw, and thanked me as she led the little one away. I smiled.