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 Your Hurt by Tyler Vance I am sorry for all the pain you have felt from me Sorry for 'trying' to ruin your precious life Sorry for all I have ever done Sorry for loving you unconditionally What is it in me that reminds you of the past? I cant see it maybe I was just sleeping.... Sorry for loving you with all my heart when I just a little kid Sorry for looking up to you with bold curiosity Sorry for lying, stealing, but I was just a kid Couldn't you see? All the years of guilt and inner hate you've built around your heart? All those years now tearing me apart, us apart. It has been so long now, its time for my tears to stop. I packed up and left home to start a new life. You packed up your feelings and hid them far, far away. You could leave me and not him. I never could understand why? Can we switch sides for once? Do you think you handle it? Living life like your son? Thinking no one cares. No one loves. No one trusts. No one sees his pain. No one sees through his eyes. What I would give to have what you have. A family. That loves you. Trusts you. Cares for you. What you are doing is killing me. I hope you learn from your mistakes, even if me leaving is what it takes... I am sorry mom, for being me. Being your son. Being your grief. Your hurt. Your sadness. I want to be your joy. Your happiness Your love Your little boy once again...but all that is lost Because I was me, not what you wanted... Now it feels like your gone. I feel like your wrong. Like you have been all along. Wont you forgive your boy? Fill his heart with joy? I said I was sorry. Mom come back. I am so sorry. I have changed for you, don't leave me here. Isn't your love supposed to be unconditionally? What happened between you and me? All this, hate you cant let go of, all those mistakes that haunt you I am sorry for being me what I have become I've tried so hard to make you proud But seem only to fail successfully Why were you never the parent you said you would be in your head? Why was I neglected? Mistreated, ignored, left alone? Why can you tell me this? All I can say is that I am sorry for being me growing up to be the person you hate so much. That is what I feel like. Sorrow- do you know what that is? Everyday I feel grief, because of what I think I did to create our shattered relations. All I can think to say is what I have said all along I am sorry mom I really am. Will you let go of your foolish pride and forgive me? Or will you blame it all on me? Tell me I am why your marriage fails?!! If you want go ahead, you don't see my tears at night or on the phone or when I am just all alone. You don't see or feel my pain. You don't know me so stop pretending. At certain functions or meeting new relatives or people you put this facade on and get buddy-buddy with me. You should see me shake my head in disbelief. And wonder why cant this be real? The other side looks so green on the other side..sound familiar mom? It should because I wrote it in a poem saying this would be better for me. But it isn't always better on the other side, it isn't any better. I just want my life to stop hurting. I am sorry for all your pain you have felt from me. Sorry for being me. Sorry for all the wrong I have done. Sorry you cant forgive me. Sorry you may never hear from me again, Sorry for stepping out of your life And not looking back Sorry for not calling you Sorry for not giving a damn Sorry for not loving you anymore Sorry I'm sorry But it is what you deserve...
Copyright © 2002 Tyler Vance, sffworld.com. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the author. The author has submitted the work in accordance with and in agreement with the following Submission Guidelines |
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