The Smiggles/Larry Incident

I let her sit in the recliner with me.

And we sat there, for three or four days. I was going on eight days without sleep. My mind started slipping. I only remember certain images from those last few days. I remember once trying to stab Larry with the ice pick. I remember Veronica breaking down and saying she didn't care if Larry mauled her to death she wasn't smoking one more cigarette. I remember Larry coming up close once, and looking at the lump in my

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throat. I remember Veronica throwing up on my coffee table. I remember running out of Dewar's.

And then I remember, on the ninth day, the lump started growing. Larry got real excited. He built a tar nest in the tub.

And then I remember dry heaving, and Veronica holding my hand as I gagged another one of those bastards out of my throat.

I don't know how long I was passed out. When I woke up, Veronica was in the living room, crying. She wasn't smoking. Larry was in the bathroom, guarding the new one. I stepped inside. I figured Larry would try to charge, but he didn' t. He just sat next to the new one and looked at me. I bent down for a closer look.

Veronica came in.

"It's grown a lot."

It had. It was about a foot and a half long now.

"It's a female."

Sure enough. It was a female. I grabbed Veronica's hand, pulled her out of the bathroom, and shut the door.

"What do we do now?" she asked.

"I don't know. I'm tired."

"Me, too."

The couch was covered in tar, but it was all dried out, so I took Veronica in my arms and we lay down and went to sleep.

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The gurgling woke me up. Larry was standing in the living room with the female. She was as big as him now. Larry had his arm around her. They both stared at me.

"What do you want?"

Larry took his girl by the arm, walked her to the front door, and gently knocked on it.

I didn't know what else to do, so I got up and opened the door. Larry and his girl walked out. I watched them walk down the hall. Then, I shut the door, and that was the last time I ever saw Larry or his girl.

Veronica was awake now. She smiled at me, and you know, at that instant I decided that Veronica was a damn fine woman for going through all that with me. I really owe her for it. She even helped me clean the tar out of the bathroom, and picked out a new couch for the living room. She truly is a fine woman.

She still wants me to quit smoking, though. I try to explain to her that I don't want to quit, and therefore I will never be able to quit. But she doesn't understand. And she's always talking about Larry, wondering what happened to him. I tell her not to think about it. It's no use.

I did find a healthy cigarette, though. One day Jia Li brought over a carton of Nat Sherman Classics. They're these really classy cigarettes, with tissue paper in the pack instead of foil. And they don't have any additives, so supposedly they're not "addictive". Whatever. But they have a lot less tar, and I figure that might not be a bad thing.

Overall those Nat Shermans are a decent draw. They're not real robust. And they have a slight herbal twang about them. But they're alright. A decent draw.