Sunday, October 9, 2005
Being alright

I'm not sure whether we are wetwired with this fatalistic attitude but how come all major problems we face are immediately understood as being a position we can make 'alright'. Now I'm not a head-doctor and the one I did date told me I was worrying about nothing, but are we permanently anaesthetised to the more long, and FATAL, term issues of life and death? It must be some kind of species self-protection mechanism to cope with absolutely anything, 'never mind Dave you'll neverge laid again but it's alright'. I mean seriously when in the hell didyou look at something and go'That's bloody terrible, he/she/it will never recover from that' - it doesn't happen very often and even then I'd put good money on someone believing the situation is recoverable. Is admiting 'defeat' (excuse the simplistic term) something that our psyche and biology isn't prepared to do?

I ask these questions because I've been struggling with just such issues for the last few weeks. There is this world that exists outside the one I inhabit where exciting events occur, except I don't seem able to find a path to it - I know where it is and I know I've been there before but now all the roads are blocked. Despite this I believe that I have adapted to the world I inhabit and the other world seems further and further away. Like a dream that is so vivid when you first wake but as reality seeps in, the dream becomes more and more intangible and ephemeral. To say it is worrying is sometimes an understatement, but only when I'm nottelling myself it's 'alright'.

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-10-09 22:35:52

Sunday, October 9, 2005
Yesterday has been erased

Have you ever had one of those naps or long, indulgent sleeps where you wake up and nothing seems to fit. It happened to me this morning, I went to bed at about 6.15am having stayed up to watch Corrales vs Castillo II (very dubious shenanigans going on there if you ask me, definitely requires a third bout at a higher weight - light-middle if the scales on fight night were anything to goby) and also the early overs of the World XI vs Australia (what a crap concept sorry). I skipped right off to the land of nod instantly and had a vivid dream that is a touch haunting even now when I think of it. The thing is I'm sure I had all these plans, hang-ups and worries before hitting the sack but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what all of them were nor whether yesterday was of any relevance whatsoever. Now I'm a bit insular and backward so naturally I tend to go into the shell and start doodling on the walls, stuff about time and yesterday's connection to today,questions that I don't have the answer for. What I do know is - sometimes youdon't allow yourself to forget things you really should, you give yourself no choice and the world is all fresh and new as a result.

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-10-09 22:34:07

Saturday, October 8, 2005
So I'm back, from outer space

Or at the least, the inner world where madness occurs and the cycle for coming out the other side is very long and tedious.

With that in mind (no pun intended) my first foray back into the world of ranting begins with television replays. I watch a lot of live sport,a lot a lot, so coming into contact with these terrible beasties is a significant part of my viewing experience. That being said, and pre-empting those who may argue the corner - if he's out there, they provide a lot of useful in-game help. Please note the word 'in-game', myissue with those clowns up on high called directors who deem it necessary to show an incident from every conceivable angle while the LIVE action is going on. We are then treated to another replay of the stuff we missedduring the next break, which overruns and we're stuck in a vicious cycle. The replays also show the parochial bias within the director ofthe moving pictures on the shiny piece of glass in the corner. If it's a dirty Englishman trampling all over an unfortunate, honest-to-goodness Welshman who has fallen on thewrong side of a ruck - then it's obviously a Welsh director, if it's the first, honest offence caused by a Welshman which goes unpunished the the director is English. We all have eyes - except referees whose vision is controlled by the Devil of Grass on the seventh level of Twickenha... I mean Hellfor kicks - and can clearly see what occurs, replays are fora major incident not every knock on, usage of handbags or refereeviciously abusing his whistle (every game at the moment if you ask me) So here's the plan - let the player decide like the sky sports interface for other sports, have a replay option but continue the live feed uninterrupted. Oh wait I'm talkingabout the BBC, nevermind :)

Had a good laugh from the overpaid footballers today, England to win a WC LMFAO,after watching Wales win one of the most entertaining football games I've seen since Kevin Keegan coached NUFC,England looked like they should be ranked 109th :)

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-10-08 16:58:36

Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Truth in stories told

Ascorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river. "Are you mad?" exclaimed the turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown."

"My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, you would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?"

"You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!" The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said:

"Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no logic in your stinging me. Why did you do it?"

"It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied. "It's just my character."

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-09-14 17:16:52

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The Ballad of Tono Worrom

Tono awoke after three years in a coma, he was already anold man and had lost even more time, bringing him a step closer to his grave. In the intervening three years his wife of forty-two yearshad died, his son had left to live in another country and his daughter was happily married. Upon waking Tono was greeted only by the nurse andhis doctor who explained what had happened,
"We're really sorry for your loss, Mr Worrom."
That's ok," he said.
"Ok?
"Yes, ok."
"But you've lost so much."
"Not really, son."
"I don't understand, you're not making sense, are you feeling ill?"
"Never better, can I go home now?"
The doctor was too stunned to answer and so just nodded his head.

After word got around in the neighbourhood that Mr Worrom was back home, friends and neighbours came round to console him and offer their sympathies. A large group headed by Mr Worrom's next door neighbour, a plump middle-aged woman called Maggie, rang the doorbell. Upon being let in they found food and alcohol laid out, music on and Mr Worrom with a big smile on his face.
"What's all this for Mr Worrom?"
"It's a celebration Maggie, I get to live another day."
Many of the people, expecting an atmosphere akin to a wake started to drift out, until only Maggie was left

"I don't understand Mr Worrom, this doesn't make sense. Are you ok"
"Never better Maggie. My children have done well and are happy, my Ellie is at rest and waiting for me and I have a few more years to live."
"But...
"No buts Maggie, haven't you woken up from an afternoon nap completely disorientated, barely able to remember your name yet feeling refreshed and revitalised?"
"Well yes, once or twice."
"Well there we are then, now would you like a dance?

Maggie never danced with Mr Worrom and a few weeks later he sold up and took to travelling. He eventually died on a bungie cord over Victoria Falls, his heart giving out as he leapt. Observers swear they heard him laughing.

There was a large gathering at the funeral in the town Mr Worrom was born, lived and where he was buried next to his dearest Ellie. As they moved toward the burial plot for the Minister to give his solemn speech, small bursts of laughter could be heard. The gravestone read:
"You all thought it was supposed to make sense."

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-09-13 18:54:50