Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The Ballad of Tono Worrom

Tono awoke after three years in a coma, he was already anold man and had lost even more time, bringing him a step closer to his grave. In the intervening three years his wife of forty-two yearshad died, his son had left to live in another country and his daughter was happily married. Upon waking Tono was greeted only by the nurse andhis doctor who explained what had happened,
"We're really sorry for your loss, Mr Worrom."
That's ok," he said.
"Ok?
"Yes, ok."
"But you've lost so much."
"Not really, son."
"I don't understand, you're not making sense, are you feeling ill?"
"Never better, can I go home now?"
The doctor was too stunned to answer and so just nodded his head.

After word got around in the neighbourhood that Mr Worrom was back home, friends and neighbours came round to console him and offer their sympathies. A large group headed by Mr Worrom's next door neighbour, a plump middle-aged woman called Maggie, rang the doorbell. Upon being let in they found food and alcohol laid out, music on and Mr Worrom with a big smile on his face.
"What's all this for Mr Worrom?"
"It's a celebration Maggie, I get to live another day."
Many of the people, expecting an atmosphere akin to a wake started to drift out, until only Maggie was left

"I don't understand Mr Worrom, this doesn't make sense. Are you ok"
"Never better Maggie. My children have done well and are happy, my Ellie is at rest and waiting for me and I have a few more years to live."
"But...
"No buts Maggie, haven't you woken up from an afternoon nap completely disorientated, barely able to remember your name yet feeling refreshed and revitalised?"
"Well yes, once or twice."
"Well there we are then, now would you like a dance?

Maggie never danced with Mr Worrom and a few weeks later he sold up and took to travelling. He eventually died on a bungie cord over Victoria Falls, his heart giving out as he leapt. Observers swear they heard him laughing.

There was a large gathering at the funeral in the town Mr Worrom was born, lived and where he was buried next to his dearest Ellie. As they moved toward the burial plot for the Minister to give his solemn speech, small bursts of laughter could be heard. The gravestone read:
"You all thought it was supposed to make sense."

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-09-13 18:54:50

Thursday, August 25, 2005
When it's gone

As so often seems to be the case with myself, I get very interested in something or become very involved in an activity but if I stop doing/lose interest inthat thing then it becomes very difficult to get that enthusiasm back. I can't tell you what it is that drives us to be flat out mad for something one minute then utterly indifferent the next, but it does bother me. It bothers me because it suggests that there isn't a whole lot that I'm willing to stick to. I see individuals with life long passions, some thing that just appeals to the very core of who that person is and they follow that instinct, that drive to the very ends of the earth, often quite literally.

So here's the thing, if there isn't that purpose to your life, that dream or goal, that thing that you love doing above all else, what is the point in life? It seems dramatic but cut free of all that we involve ourselves in that doesn't mean as much as we'd like it to - job, tv, pursuits that have become routine etc - that takes up so much of our time, what is left? It seems like we fill the box for the sake of it, we create things to do in order to get by, in order to kill time so that we don't have to choose what we really want from life. Thatso many of the things we want to do, we let slip because we're never sure till it's gone. And when it's gone ....

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-08-25 17:34:17

Friday, August 19, 2005
I'm not

Granted that sales people of any kind aren't the most balanced subjects on which to base a blog it is still intriguing how so many people segue into a conversation, as if speaking a blasphemy that they don't wish to get back to an unknown pair of ears, by saying 'I'm not racist' or 'I'm not being unkind but'.

We had a double-glazing salesman around our house today (he was asked suprisingly) and when he wasn't talking about the actual business at hand almost every conversation he started with the line 'I'm not'. Now clearly he 'was' something, the question became exactly what he was, having denied subscription to anyline of opinion that meantcommiting to either a positive or negative.Now obviously this man has taught himself to be asirritatingly neutral as a person at first contact can be yet amazingly he didn't seem to realise thathe was exactly all those things he purported not to be.He wasn't racist but he did have opinions that could be construed in that way. He was unkind because he clearly had the thoughts he then voiced. But so what? It's a free country isn't? Which brings me to my point, ifI can be said to actually have one, and this is that wenow live in asociety so afraid to say what it thinks incase they are perceivedin a negative light. In the paper yesterday was a story about a couple who were banned by the church from using the Robbie Williams song Angels because it was deemed 'offensive to other religions.' So youbookthe church to hold your wedding there, with them knowing full well that you are bothchristians and that none of your friends or family, even if they hold other religious beliefs, are going to be offended by a pop song that the couple got together to and you ruin their day based solely on offending people who aren't even going to be there. This is the coverall PC that really gets on my nerves and where else does this happen? It's ludicrous. I piss people off everyday, tough luck pick a number - I'm surethe queue isin five figures and rising, so what? Beingafraid to voice an opinion is one of the reasons we're in such a bad state(both meanings) in the first place.

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-08-19 17:36:55

Sunday, August 14, 2005
Paula Radcliffe

So Britain finally managed a gold medal at the World Athletics Championships in Helsinki. Excuse me if I don't get excited over that figure. No Britain of either sex in either of the shorter sprints, races, particularly with the men, we have been used to medalling alongside the Americans. So this time round, with a successful Olympic bid under Londonistan's belt, we had a grand total of seven individual athletes in finals. Not medalling, just getting into the final. WOW, all that money must be doing miracles ...

Enter Paula Radcliffe, Britain's great thin hope and the woman who in the Olympics was slammed from pillar to post by the media for having a bad race. In ludicrously oppressive heat, why run a marathon in early evening?, she tried to run a race that sapped her body too much. She broke down in tears on the side of the road and could not physically go on. Remember this is a woman who destroyed the women's marathon record, having run three minutes faster than any woman in history. Until the Olympics she hadn't lost a marathon and clocked up the three fastest times of all time. Let me say that again, ALL TIME. So having been derided and rubbished by the same people who were now pinning their hopes on her bringing home Britain's only gold, she could be forgiven for telling them to go play in the traffic. As with her anti-drug stance earlier in her careerthough she simply rose above it all, proving herself to be the ultimate professional. With the reigning world champion, Ndereba,and a Romanian athlete, Dita,Paula had beaten by a mile, literally, in the London marathon, for company she set about decimating the field with ruthless efficiency.With only an hour on theclock shehad seen off all but three other competitors, dragging them along with herway inside their personal bests. Just after half way the break came and she never looked back, finishing over a minute ahead of the second place, dethronedworld champion. The Romanianarrived another minute and a half later, followed by the classy butretiring Ethiopian Tulu. All four women broke the old world championship record, Paula smashing it by two and half minutes.

Shortly after the race, Sally Gunnell for the BBC congratulated her on winning the first gold medal for Britain, to which Paula responded "It's really for me - anyone can think what they want but it's really for me because I knew what I was capable of doing." Amen Paula, congratulations, you deserve it. British Athletics wouldn't be much without you.

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-08-14 17:09:13

Sunday, August 7, 2005
1 - 1

Well there goes 5-0 but damn that was close, what a game. When they were showing the list of games won by single figure runs it was amazing how many of those were England vs Australia games, but for this to be the second closest victory of all time really is truly incredible. It looked for all money like Brett Lee and Kaspo (can't spell his surname and too lazy to look) would do the impossible, in similar fashion to the way the WI beat Australia in the one day final. There is some debate over whether it was trulyout but I think at that speed given the straight on view Billy Bowden had it was the only decision he could give. Man did it come out of the blue - I though Vaughan had messed it up. Despite allthe praise on his captaincy at the end, his unflappable nature etc etc I thought bowling Harmison and Flintoff for so long was going to backfire big time and the final wicket aside it did. Harmison right now is blowing hot and cold despite being on home turf, he was slapped about all morning and were it not for Warne stepping on his stumps and some extra bounce at just the right time it could have been 2-0. This may be Welsh bias but why don't they bowl Simon Jones more often, especiallylate in innings when with his ability to reverse swing he's at his best. It's all well and good saying so in the first innings but come pressure time Vaughan looks anywhere but Jones or Hoggard. It worked this time but there are still a lot of questions marks about England and Vaughan/Bell's batting form in particular. Roll on Thursday:)

Posted by Owen Jones 2005-08-07 19:17:08