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Since I Never Get the Last Word

Friday, August 18, 2006
Thinking About Women - Still

Len Deighton wrote some stories I enjoyed very much. More importantly, he put into print a Law of the Universe, namely

You Canít Make Women Happy.

He added explanation to the effect if you try to make them happy they will never forgive you for showing them that they canít be.

I have always believed this was because another Law of the Universe says that everything requires someone to worry about it and women seemed to have assumed the responsibility. All the women I have known were or are worried about something, something that is maybe going to happen, that might have happened without anyone knowing, that damn well should have happened if it didnít. When a particular worry is overcome by events, another is impatiently panting for their attention to which they devote themselves instantly.

Women do a better job worrying than men would do so Iím glad they have the job.

Posted by Dan Bieger 2006-08-18 10:09:08

Thursday, August 17, 2006
Photi Has a Cousin

Since my high school days I have been very fond of photi as an example of the vagaries of the English language because photi, when examined philologically, has the:

PH of graph

O of women

TI of nation

and is therefore pronounced fish. Today, thanks to Willard R. Espy, I discovered a near relative of photi. Use the:

GH of hiccough

EAU of beau

GHT of naught

EIGH of neigh

PT of pterodactyl

OUGH of though

And you have gheaughteighptough or


Unless, of course, your second sullable uses the

O of got

Then you have Ďpotatoí.

Posted by Dan Bieger 2006-08-17 09:00:07

Monday, August 14, 2006
A Law I Forgot to Write Down Last Time

Never put old men in charge of anything. Always ensure they must share power with women and children. Left on their own; old men will screw things up.

There's no reason to believe and women and children - on their own -will do any better but they at least deserve the chance.

Posted by Dan Bieger 2006-08-14 15:42:15

Sunday, August 13, 2006

The First Gate requires me to understand who I am; what I believe.

I believe:

We are born with the capacity for good and evil, that we decide as we go which way we will bend.

We are all connected, some bonds greater than others, but all bonds are significant though we seldom realize how significant they are.

Human beings are defined by brain waves; flat lines or no lines are not human beings.

Evil consists in harming another human being, physically or emotionally.

Killing in defense of another human being is not evil but the act of killing has an inverse effect on the perpetrator; the more we kill, the less human we become.

There is no such thing as a just war but there are wars that must be fought.

Power is an illusion.

Posted by Dan Bieger 2006-08-13 10:04:58

Saturday, August 12, 2006
Fracturing English

If biology is the study of life, why isnít scientology the study of scientists?

Why can you earn a doctorate in geology but not in technology?

Why is botany not botanicology?

Why is a logistician not simply an ologist?

Why is there no demand that logia be logical?

Why isnít taxonomy a system for organizing taxes?

How about a course on religionomy?

If the first definition of physics is natural philosophy, is the other kind of philosophy unnatural?

Why isnít physics called naturology or naturonomy?

Why donít naturalists know anything about quantum theory? I bet if they were called naturologists, they would.

Posted by Dan Bieger 2006-08-12 07:42:18

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