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Submitted by Anonymous (Sep 08, 2006)

Run-on sentences and a plot that's difficult to follow. Immature themes.

Not too bad. Needs a tab bit more structuring. Cannot abbreviate inside narration style paragraphs, those has to be inside dialogue. Could not figure what the plot was, yet, alone a theme. Try using an outline, that usually helps. - Essa Durrancey

you might want to re-check the spelling on the title.