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Submitted by Reginald Gordon (Feb 17, 2006)

I'm not sure how you got the 5 star ratings, because what I have read is nothing but a convoluted mess. There is no structure whatsoever; it seems like everything you wrote is a single run-on sentence. Between the fragmented dialogue and the train-wreck grammar, I'm not sure how anyone can find any real substance in your story. There may be some there, but it's hard to see. Unless this is just senseless gibberish, which I hope that it's nothing more than a joke, I highly recommend that you take some writing courses before you pick up a pen again.